Sasuke's Coupon Book
by xXxCookie-MonsterxXx
Summary: Naruto makes Sasuke a very special coupon book for Christmas full of coupons for naughty things for Sasuke to do to Naruto. Needless to say, Sasuke is thrilled. AU SasuNaru OOC Practically nothing but lemons - you have been warned!
1. Sasuke's Coupon Book

This is my first yaoi story!!! It's SasuNaru (obviously), and there's going to be smut in pretty much every chapter. In fact, there's hardly any plot... but as long as there's yummy SasuNaru lemony goodness, who cares?!

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"Cute" was not a word that Sasuke Uchiha used frequently – if ever. It wasn't a part of his vocabulary, quite simply. However, watching his hyperactive blonde boyfriend tear his Christmas present open, he couldn't help but think anything _besides_ "cute".

"Sasuke!" he squealed – in an extremely manly way, of course. "This is **awesome**! Thank you so much!"

"Hn," the raven replied, smirking. "You like it?"

Naruto grinned widely and nodded, his blonde hair flapping everywhere. He launched himself at his dark haired boyfriend and crushed their lips together. Before Sasuke had a chance to deepen it, though, Naruto pulled away. Naruto said he pouted, but that wasn't true – Uchiha's _do not_ pout. Even if he had pouted (which he hadn't!), it would have been for a very plausible reason. Naruto's lips were simply sinful.

Naruto reverently set down the coupons to Ichiraku's Ramen Bar – only the best place on earth.

"_Five _coupons for free ramen!" the blonde crooned happily. "Five!"

"Yeah, dobe, I know how many there are, seeing as I bought them," Sasuke smirked back.

His boyfriend pouted and folded his arms over his chest. "You're mean, Sasuke-teme! I don't think I want to give you your present anymore!"

And with that, he turned around and faced away from the raven. Sasuke rolled his eyes. His boyfriend, although very hot, was very childish at times – a lot of the time. With an inaudible sigh, he slid his arms around his boyfriend from behind and started to suck lightly on his tan neck.

"Naru-chan...," he purred. "I gave you your present, it's only far that I get mine now."

Naruto pouted, but nodded after a minute of internal debate. He crawled away from the raven, giving him a wonderful view of the blonde's perfect ass. He leered openly, making the blonde blush and whack the side of his head when he turned back around.

"Here," Naruto mumbled, shoving a small, rectangular box into the raven's hands. His checks were flushing quickly, which made Sasuke smirked. Red was a good color on his dobe.

Unlike his boyfriend, Sasuke didn't rip his present open. He slid the paper off carefully, slowly, taking his time. This aggravated Naruto, of course, but Sasuke didn't speed up.

"I made it myself!" Naruto exclaimed, suddenly excited again. "Well, Sakura-chan taught me how to do the fancy writing, because I didn't know how and it was really hard – but I did everything by myself!"

Sasuke chuckled and slipped the lid off the box to reveal a small stack of papers stapled together. Written very carefully on the front in calligraphy was "Sasuke's Coupon Book". It was made of different colored paper and decorated in Christmas stickers. The pages were all different sizes, but Sasuke assumed that was Naruto trying to be creative. It was cute, he thought. Until he opened the book, for the first coupon read:

"For the use of one costume of Sasuke's choice. Valid one night only."

The raven's eyes went wide. Sasuke was always trying to coerce Naruto into a steamy night of kinky sex – but their ideas of kinky weren't the same. Naruto thought of a new position when it came to being kinky, while Sasuke was thinking of ropes, role play, etc. So this – well, this was very exciting.

Eagerly, Sasuke tore through the rest of the book, reading the total eleven coupons that Naruto had made for him. The were _amazing_. One night of role play, one costume, one strip tease or a dance...!

"Do you...," Naruto began, sounding nervous when Sasuke stopped at the coupon entitled "Sasuke-sama" and no longer moved, "...do you not like it, Sasu?"

_"God_, Naruto! I _love_ it!" Sasuke growled, tackling him to the ground. Naruto squeaked as his boyfriend claimed his lips roughly, unable to do anything but moan wantonly and kiss back.

"I'm using one now," snarled the raven, reaching for the coupon book.

"Iie, Sasuke!" Naruto whined, squirming as his boyfriend sampled his neck. "Sakura, Lee, Kakashi and Iruka are going to be here soon! We can't do any – ah! – anything right now!"

"I'll be damned if I'm going to let some old pervert and a 'youthful' freak stop me from pounding into that tight little ass of yours, Naruto," Sasuke growled.

"Sas – Sasuke!" Naruto moaned, trying to push his boyfriend off. He only pulled off Naruto's top and latched onto the dusty nipple his actions revealed. "R-really, teme, st-stop it!"

"Well Merry Christmas indeed."

"Oh my! What a wonderful and youthful display of _youth_!"

The pair on the floor froze, before, in unison, looking up at the four people in the doorway. Kakashi was laughing his head off and Lee was grinning stupidly, while Iruka was bright red and Sakura was pinching her nose to stop blood from spurting out.

Mortified, Naruto pushed Sasuke off and frantically pulled his shirt back on.

"Should we come back later, perhaps?" Kakashi grinned.

"No!" Naruto squeaked at the exact same time Sasuke snapped "Yes."

"No," Naruto repeated, glaring at his boyfriend as he stood up. "Of course not. It's Christmas and you're family. Today we're spending the day together, _the six of us_." He stressed the last four words and glared once more at his boyfriend.

Reluctantly and very pissed off, Sasuke stood and followed the others into the kitchen. How could his little blonde deny him from using his Christmas present! It was a gift, and he was entitle to use it whenever he wanted! Just because some of their friends had shown up they couldn't have sex?! Sasuke had no problem doing it in front of other people!.... Well, maybe not – he didn't want anyone, no matter who they were, to see his Naruto like that. Naruto naked was a sight for his eyes only.

But... it couldn't be all bad, he supposed, watching Naruto with a smirk. This just gave him more time to plan what he was going to do his sexy little dobe and when he would use each and every one of those fantastic coupons. His smirk grew. Whether or not Naruto knew it, Sasuke intended on using a coupon the second the four left.

Oh, this was going to be a _very_ Merry Christmas.

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So how did I do with my first yaoi fic? Please reveiw!!


	2. A Shower Stall Built for Two

**o.o Wow. I had like forty or fifty something people add this story to their favorites and watch lists. I was so excited! Hahaha. Thanks to everybody that reviewed and added this to their story alert/favorite story list! **

**This is my first lemon EVER! I was soooooo nervous writing it! I don't know if I totally ruined it or what - tell me in reviews!

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**_"Sasuke may join Naruto for one shower / bath that may and probably will include sex. Valid one shower / bath only."

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_Naruto wouldn't let Sasuke molest him at all during the time Sakura, Lee, Iruka, and Kakashi were over, which Sasuke thought was very unfair. All he wanted to do was bend the blonde over the table and screw him until New Year's...! Okay, maybe Naruto had a _small_ reason to deny Sasuke. But it was a small one.

The raven thought that they would never leave. The hours seemed to drag on until he thought he was going to rip his hair out. Or succumb to his desires and lock Naruto in the bedroom to have his naughty naughty way with him. But he couldn't do that, because he knew that Naruto would make him sleep on the couch for a week again. Sasuke shuddered. That was an awful, awful week.

Naruto had dragged his boyfriend along with him to go shopping. Sasuke wasn't thrilled whatsoever – Naruto wasn't an easy person to shop with. They had to go into every store in the mall and try everything that he somewhat liked on. Sasuke got very bored very fast. So he had followed the blonde silently into a dressing room and somehow convinced Naruto into having sex there. Sex in a public place. Probably the kinkiest thing they'd done since the Holy Coupon Book (as Sasuke dubbed it) came into their lives.

But that's not the point. The point is, and it's pretty needless to say, they were no longer allowed to shop at that Holister. Naruto was so furious that he refused to let Sasuke sleep in the same bed as him for seven grueling days.

But Sasuke refused to think about what he called "The Week With No Sunshine". Never again, never again, never again-

"Um, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura frowned, waving a hand in front of his face. "What are you mumbling about?"

Sasuke snapped out of his daze. "Nothing," he replied evenly, slapping her hand away.

"Um, alright...," she said. "Well, Lee and I are leaving, so-"

He tuned out the rest of whatever she said because Little Sasuke (the one in his head) was very busy doing the happy dance, and Other Little Sasuke (the one, um, down there) was busy deciding which coupon to use the second they walked out the door. He hadn't read all ten very carefully after he saw that Naruto had agreed to one night of calling him "Sasuke-sama", but he was pretty sure he saw something about sex in any room he wanted, and he always thought Naruto would look so sexy splayed out over the table, panting and moaning his name...

"Sasuke!" Sakura whacked him upside the head. "Stop ignoring me! I'm trying to tell you something!" Sasuke rolled his eyes, but secretly didn't want to be hit again, so he nodded. "I said try not to take it too rough on Naruto tonight, okay? He promised me that tomorrow we'd go hunting for After-Christmas deals at the mall."

No! Little Sasuke immediately began to plot Sakura's death and Other Little Sasuke deflated considerably, then helped his buddy up north plan the pink haired girl's demise. How dare she try to take his little Naru-chan away from him! He had plans! _Plans!_

"Sasuke! Pay attention!" Every syllable was accentuated with more hits to the head.

"Ow!" Sasuke snapped, trying to get the evil pinkette to stop hitting him. "Okay, okay, what is it?"

"Here," she scowled, pushing something into his hands. "This is your Christmas present from me and Lee."

The box was a small cube, wrapped in paper with large pictures of a very jolly Santa Claus on all sides. He tried not to roll his eyes at the ridiculous paper, knowing that Lee probably picked it, and open the box. Inside was an economy sized jar of strawberry scented lube. It was perfect – they were almost out of lube and whenever either of them tried to go out to get more, they somehow ended up back in bed.

Sasuke's face split into a huge smirk. Little Sasuke and Other Little Sasuke forgave Sakura and went back to their primary activities.

"Thank you, Sakura," he murmured, carefully closing the lid over the box. "I-"

"Ah, Sasuke, my youthful comrade! We have had so much youth-filled fun today!" Lee tried to hug him, but Sasuke punched him, scowling. Sakura slapped Sasuke and helped her boyfriend up.

"We're leaving," she snapped. Sasuke said nothing, but was internally very happy. Two down, two to go.

"Sasuke!" Naruto called. "Come here and say goodbye to Iruka and Kakashi!"

Sasuke's smirk widened and both Little Sasuke's did a happy dance. Well that was easy.

While Naruto was cleaning up the kitchen, Sasuke decided to flip through his coupon book to see which one he wanted to use that night. He'd have to go buy the costume he had in mind for Naruto, and he didn't want to leave him right now. Besides, leaving on Christmas might warrant another "Week With No Sunshine", and he didn't want to risk that. He couldn't use the role play coupon because he had too many ideas to sort through, and he had no idea what one would be the sexiest to do with Naruto. Master and slave was always a good one, but he already had the much revered "Sasuke-sama" coupon. Besides, Naruto probably wouldn't go for that. Sasuke could be a doctor and Naruto his very naughty, very sexy nurse...

Sasuke shook his head. Another time, he would decide on that another time. He still had to pick something for them tonight. He should probably start small, with something not too wild. Sasuke knew Naruto wasn't very kinky like him, so he had to tread lightly to start.

He smirked, stopping at the third coupon. Yes, yes, this would be perfect for tonight. Oh, his poor, sexy little dobe...

Sasuke paced back and forth outside the bathroom that night, waiting impatiently. It seemed like forever before he heard the shower turn on. 'Finally,' he thought, a smirk gracing his features. He waited a few more minutes to make sure that Naruto was in, and then slid off his boxers and crept silently into the the bathroom. It was already full of steam – his dobe had turned the hot water on high, apparently. Sasuke didn't care though; he liked the steam.

Sasuke was very careful to make no noise at all as he crossed the large bathroom. When he reached the shower, he just stared for a moment at Naruto's backside. So smooth, so tan, so tight, and so very much Sasuke's and Sasuke's alone.

He opened the door without a sound and climbed in just as quietly. He carefully stepped forward, then wrapped his arms around his blonde boyfriend. He nibbled on his ear and purred, "Need some help, Naruto?"

"Sasuke!" Naruto squealed, squirming. "W-what do you think you're doing? Get out!"

"Hn. No," Sasuke replied simply.

"Why the hell not, bastard?"

"I'm using one of my coupons now," Sasuke murmured, shifting to suckle on Naruto's neck.

"W-which one?"

"Isn't it obvious, dobe? My shower for two coupon."

Sasuke didn't allow any more talking as he spun the blonde around and smashed their lips together. Naruto protested against the raven's lips at first, but eventually gave up and kissed his boyfriend back. He wasn't getting out of this. Not that that was a bad thing. Of course not – that's never a bad thing when you're boyfriend's a sex god.

"Sasuke!" Naruto moaned, throwing his head back. Sasuke smirked, pleased with the new access to Naruto's neck, and latched on to it to mark his territory.

Naruto moaned again, grabbing a handful of Sasuke's hair and pulling. He felt Sasuke smirk against his skin and tried to scowl. That was hard to do, though, with his incredibly hot, sexy boyfriend moving from his neck to instead suck on one of his nipples. His other hand snaked up and played with the other one, making Naruto moan louder and tug harder on his hair.

Growing bored with his actions, Sasuke placed both of his hands on Naruto's hips and trailed open-mouthed kisses down Naruto's sculpted torso, electing soft mewls from the blonde.

Sasuke stopped over Naruto's erection and smirked up at his boyfriend. Naruto whined and pushed his hips forward, trying to get some relief.

"Sasu!" he whined when the raven continued to do nothing about his problem.

"Yes Naruto?" Sasuke replied, as though nothing out of the ordinary was happening. He licked the dripping tip of Naruto's erection, making the blonde gasp and buck his hips forward.

"_Sasuke_! Please!"

"Please what, Naruto?" Sasuke purred. "I won't know what you want me to do until you tell me." Naruto blushed even brighter and turned his head away, refusing to look at his boyfriend. He liked it was Sasuke talked dirty to him, but he was always so mortified when Sasuke made Naruto tell him the things he wanted Sasuke to do to him. "Naruto..."

"Please, put it in your mouth!" Naruto finally blurted out. Sasuke tilted his head to one side, trying to look innocent and failing.

"Put what in my mouth, Naru?" he murmured, slinking back up Naruto's body. "This?" He latched on to Naruto's nipple again, smirking around it. Naruto let out a kind of half moan, half whine.

"Noooo... Sasu...!"

"No? Not that? Then what do you want me to put in my mouth, my little fox?"

"My... put my – ah!"

"Keep going Naruto," Sasuke encouraged, getting back on his knees.

"My dick! Dammit, Sasuke, put my dick in your mouth!" The hyperactive blonde covered his face in his hands, thoroughly embarrassed. Sasuke chuckled and kissed Naruto's stomach.

"All you had to do was ask," he whispered. Naruto glared through his fingers at the older boy, but almost immediately after he threw his head back, banging it against the tiles, and moaned his loudest moan yet. He tried to push his hips into Sasuke's heavenly mouth, but the raven kept his hips firmly against the wall.

Naruto was tossing his head from side to side, moaning wantonly and gripping his boyfriend's hair tightly. Sasuke was going extra slow just to torture him, and it was working. He knew just how to push Naruto's buttons.

After making sure that the blonde was distracted enough, Sasuke grabbed some body wash and covered his fingers in it. He reached behind Naruto and circled a finger around his entrance before dipping it in. Naruto hardly even noticed, as one of Sasuke's hands had left his hips and he was free to push into his boyfriend's mouth.

Sasuke carefully added a second finger and, at the same time, struck Naruto's prostate. Naruto moaned again, not able to decide whether he wanted to push back against Sasuke's fingers or into his mouth. But it didn't matter much, because when Sasuke's third finger wiggled in he moaned his name and came into Sasuke's mouth. His knees shook and he would have fallen over if Sasuke hadn't held on to him.

When Naruto finally came down from his high, he found he was on his back in the shower was Sasuke perched over him, panting. Sasuke's back blocked him from the now cold water, not that he would have noticed anyway. Sasuke leaned down to kiss him as he covered his manhood in the body wash, then pressed himself against Naruto's entrance. For a moment, he let it rest there, and then, in one swift motion, he pushed inside.

Naruto moaned, his hard-on returning rapidly. Sasuke stroked him until he was fully hard again, and then started thrusting. It was far from slow and romantic, but both of them loved it all the same.

Before either of them knew it, they were both coming. Sasuke, determined to get his uke to come first, grabbed Naruto's manhood and started to jerk him off in time with his thrusts. Naruto screamed a mangled version of his boyfriend's name and came all over his chest and Sasuke's. Seeing Naruto in such pleasure cause Sasuke to topple over the edge, too, with a breathless whisper of Naruto's name.

They both lay panting on the shower floor for a few minutes. Naruto was falling asleep, spent from his two orgasms. Sasuke figured he'd better get them out before the cold water got them sick. He sat Naruto up and quickly washed the semen from his chest, and then cleaned himself up. He turned off the water and carried Naruto out.

Sasuke placed him carefully on the counter, chuckling when he almost fell off. Sasuke dried Naruto off, and then himself again, before carrying the blonde into the bedroom. He carefully placed him under the covers and climbed in next to him. Naruto curled up next to Sasuke, and Sasuke, smiling – not smirking – wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.

"I love you Sas...," Naruto mumbled, falling asleep.

"I love you too, Naru."


	3. Neko Naruto

**It feels like it's been forever since I published anything. Haha oh well, not the point! Thanks to all the people the reviewed yet again - keep it up! If I haven't replied to your review, I'm very sorry and I'll try to ASAP. I'm always willing to talk to anyone anytime, by the way!**

**To smiles13 (a really cool chick) - I made sure that jar was used in this chapter. :D And a special thanks to Itooshii Koneko for giving me a wonderful idea for a later chapter. So everyone thank her for an extra chapter of SasuNaru deliciousness!**

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_"For the use of one costume of Sasuke's choice. Valid one night only."_

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Sasuke was feeling... off when he woke up, but he couldn't figure out why at first. He threw an arm over his eyes to block out the sunlight streaming through the window and reached for Naruto with his other hand. However, upon finding the blonde missing, he sat up straight so fast he thought something in his back cracked. But he didn't care about that. _Where was his dobe?_

"Naruto?" he called loudly. No response. The raven frowned and threw the covers off of himself with a growl and jumped out of bed. Snatching a pair of boxers and tugging them on roughly, he stormed to the door only to stop when he caught sight of a piece of paper attached to it.

_Teme-_

_Sakura-chan said she already told you this, but you probably forget already. We're going to the mall to look for those After-Christmas deals. I'd ask you to come, but I'm never taking you shopping again. You know why._

Here he had drawn a very unhappy looking face, which actually made the raven chuckle despite horrible memories of the "Week With No Sunshine." It was cute in its own way, just like Naruto.

_Anyways, I'll be back by five, in time for dinner, so don't worry about poisoning yourself, and please try to not burn down the apartment._

_Love,_

_Naruto_

Sasuke sighed and set the piece of paper down on the dresser. He'd have to spend almost all day without his dobe. This didn't have the makings of a good day at all. But then Sasuke, being the brilliant Uchiha he was, remember his coupon book. So, with a smirk, he ran back over to his nightstand and snatched up said book.

He thumbed through it, stopping occasionally to contemplate plans for his little fox. After nearly an hour of plans, naughty ideas, and a Naruto induced hard on (but really, for Sasuke, what other kind of hard on was there?), Sasuke knew what he had to do.

He had to go shopping.

Sasuke stared at the shop before him for a few minutes. He still couldn't believe that he was coming here of all places, but it was what had to be done. Besides, he could get a good discount here. But still, it was with a heavy sigh that he pushed the shop door open.

The little bell above the door rang happily as he stepped in, electing a shudder from the raven.

"In and out, Sasuke," he muttered to himself.

"Sasuke!"

'Great, just what I wanted right now: an entourage,' he thought bitterly. But when he turned around and saw a familiar blonde (not his blonde, unfortunately), he relaxed. A vague thought crossed his mind that he and his brother had virtually the exact same taste in ukes – blonde, hyperactive, bipolar at times, childish, and random.

"Ah, Deidara," he said, shaking from his pondering. "I'm surprised my brother doesn't have you tied to your bed."

Deidara flushed red and, embarrassed, snapped back, "I'm surprised that you don't have Naruto tied to _your_ bed, un!"

"But that's the reason I'm here." Sasuke was very reluctant to show Deidara the coupon book, which he had brought with him. "Naruto made me this for Christmas. I'm looking for certain _toys_ for us to play with tonight." A smirk crossed over his features at the very thought.

Deidara grinned suddenly. One thing his blonde and his brother's blonde had in common, as he had said – they were both completely bipolar at times. "Then I'm your man, un! What kind of stuff do you need? Rope? Cock ring? Oo, how about a set of handcuffs, un! These ones are new, yeah, made of stainless steel!"

Sasuke smirked. Sometimes it was beneficial for his brother's boyfriend to work in a sex shop.

The raven couldn't wait until his little blonde got home. He had so many fun (naughty) things he'd gotten from Deidara's shop. He wasn't sure just how Naruto would react to some of the things he'd bought, but if the blonde wasn't open to doing things like this then he never would have made the coupon book in the first place.

"Oi, teme, where are you? I brought dinner!"

Sasuke smirked. Wonderful. His dobe was home.

He was on his very best behavior all evening, and he made sure of it. Naruto immediately became suspicious of his boyfriend when he didn't try to jump him the second he walked through the door. He kept a weary eye on him at all times, especially when they cuddled on the coach. Sasuke only usually agreed to any kind of cuddling after sex, and when he said he just wanted to cuddle, Naruto knew that he really meant "I want to pound you into the mattress."

But Sasuke did nothing that implied he wanted sex, he just gave his dobe a few sweet kisses now and then. Not that Naruto didn't love his kisses or anything, but it wasn't like Sasuke at all to be this sweet when he wasn't trying to get sex.

"I'm going to go change," announced the blonde. He stood from Sasuke's arms, mildly surprised when he wasn't tugged back down into the raven's lap, and then trotted off to the bedroom.

Said raven lasted for all of ten seconds before he got up and started to follow the blonde. He had hidden the bags full of goodies in the closet, so he was going to find them sooner or later. And the sooner the better, as was Sasuke's philosophy.

Upon entering the bedroom, he was greeted with a fantastic view of the blonde's pert ass as he bent over to pick up a pair of Sasuke's boxers he'd dropped. The older boy leered at the sight until the blonde stood up. He then crossed over to him and slid his arms around his boyfriend's waist, making him squeak.

"Sas!" Naruto whined. "You have to stop sneaking up on me like that!"

Sasuke merely chuckled. "Sorry, dobe," he replied, not sounding sorry at all. "Come here, I want to show you something."

He grabbed his hand and pulled him to the closet. After opening the closet and pulling out one of the plain black bags from inside, Naruto grinned hugely.

"Did you buy me a present?" he squealed excitedly, reaching for the bag.

"It's for both of us," Sasuke smirked. The blonde's grin fell off at once and he peered up suspiciously at his boyfriend. He should have figured that it had something to do with sex.

"I changed my mind; whatever it is, I don't want it!" he shoved the bag back into the raven's hands and tried to wiggle away, attempting to flee into the bathroom. Sasuke, however, was prepared for this. He dropped the bag and secured his arms tightly around Naruto's waist.

"But Naru, I'm using a coupon," he purred, nuzzling his neck.

The younger groaned, letting his head drop back onto Sasuke's shoulder. "I was afraid you were going to say that...!"

Naruto stared into the mirror in disbelief. The image staring back at him with the same shocked expression couldn't be him! The blonde in the mirror looked so... so risque! Naruto flushed when he thought that. He did. He looked risque. Sasuke had bought him a _neko_ _costume_. A neko costume, of all things! It was better than a kitsune, he assumed, and he was surprised that his boyfriend hadn't bought one.

He grimaced and went over his "outfit" (he didn't think there was enough fabric on it to really be called an outfit). There was a set of yellow ears that almost matched his hair perched on top of his head to start with, as well as a bell tied neatly around his neck. He had on a tiny, tight top that ended a few inches above his belly button. It showed of his lean but muscular chest, as well as the spiral tattoo around his belly button he'd gotten the only time he'd let his friend Kiba get him drunk off his ass. He still remembered the morning after vividly; Sasuke had whipped Kiba's ass, reprimanded Naruto for going out and doing such stupid things without so much as a phone call and for not getting in until seven AM, and then promptly kept him in bed and screwed him into the mattress for two days straight. From there the outfit was a simple (and tight) pair of something like spandex running shorts in a color that matched the ears and shirt. But the worst part of all was the yellow tall situated right on the swell of his ass.

"Naruto, are you done in there yet?" Sasuke called irritably through the door. He was damn horny just imagining what Naruto would look like in the costume wasn't helping his problem.

"S-shut up, teme!" he snapped back, cursing the tremor in his voice. "You're making me wear this stupid thing, so I can make you wait a few minutes!"

"Dobe...," Sasuke growled. He was horny and his blonde was denying him. Those two things combined did not bode well at all with him.

"Just-" He swallowed thickly. "-Just please get away from the door, okay? I – I promise I'll be out in a minute," he said desperately.

Outside the door, Sasuke gave a small sigh and went back to the bed. He shouldn't have pressed Naruto and snapped at him like that. He knew that his kit was just nervous because they'd never done anything like this before, and the costume was more over the top than the he was comfortable with. He was upset that he couldn't find a kitsune costume, but a neko one was close enough. But the raven knew that this was something they'd be doing again, he knew that the other boy would like it.

The bathroom door creaked open and Sasuke perked up expectantly. After a second, Naruto stepped into the room, revealing himself to his boyfriend's eyes at long last. And damn, was it worth the wait. He had never seen his Naru-chan look so ... words couldn't even describe the way he looked. He looked hot, sexy, irresistible, so many things.

"I hope you're happy," Naruto pouted. The look only made Sasuke want to jump him and take him right on the floor. He held back, though just barely.

"Very very happy," purred the raven. Naruto's pout got bigger, and it was reluctantly that he walked slowly to the bed. Without further ado, Sasuke yanked him down and rolled over on top of him, placing his legs on either side of the blonde. He gulped nervously and looked up at Sasuke, getting more and more uncertain about this.

Before Naruto was able to ask what he meant, Sasuke had pushed his shirt up and latched on to his left nipple, rolling his tongue around the bud. Naruto groaned, arching up into his boyfriend's mouth to try to get more of the wonderful feeling from the sinful appendage. His free hand glided up the blonde's torso, drawing little designs all over his tan skin, before grabbing his other nipple and rolling it between his fingers.

"Naruto...," Sasuke murmured, removing his mouth and hand at the same time. Naruto whined and tried to follow the wonderful appendages. "Say my name, Naruto.

"Sasuke! Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke...!" he chanted obediently.

"Hn. Good kitty."

Naruto wanted to scowl at him from the comment, but found that he was too last in pleasure to do so. Sasuke smirked when he realized this. He loved it when his Naru-chan got so drowned in pleasure like he was. His face and chest got bright red, making him look even more beautiful in Sasuke's eyes. The red dusting made his ocean blue eyes stand out, and his eyes were what Sasuke fell in love with first. They were so bright, happy, shining.

As much as the raven loved thinking of the blonde, he had more important matters at hand. He turned his boyfriend around on all fours to get an even better look at his ass. Sasuke peeled off the tight shorts to around the blonde's knees and grabbed his ass, rubbing his thumbs against the soft tan skin before parting the flesh to look at his puckered entrance. He smirked when the blonde squeaked in embarrassment and hid his face in the pillow.

"Aw, Naruto, don't pretend you don't like this. We both know how much you do," Sasuke chuckled. A muffled "S-shut up!" was the response. So without any further ado, he leaned down and started on his delicious treat.

Naruto moaned wantonly, pushing back against Sasuke's face to try to get his sinful tongue deeper into his hole. As much as he hated to admit it, the bastard was right – he **did** love this. Sasuke licked and sucked happily at his hole, thoroughly enjoying the noises the other was making. Naruto's arms were shaking and it was obvious that he was having trouble holding himself up, so the raven stopped.

"No...," Naruto whined, pushing his hips back. "Please, Sasuke – so close!"

Sasuke chuckled quietly and shook his head even though Naruto couldn't see him. "I let you come twice last night, didn't I, Naruto?" Naruto groaned unhappily, knowing that he wasn't getting off anytime soon. "Exactly. Besides, we're getting to the _really_ good part now, my little kit."

As he said this, he reached for the jar of lube Sakura and Lee had gotten him for Christmas. He unscrewed the lid carefully and dipped his fingers inside, making sure that they were coated in the strawberry scented lube before he slipped one into Naruto's hole. The blonde moaned, happy something had been placed back inside of him.

"You like this, don't you, Naruto?" Sasuke whispered lewdly into his ear. "You like it when I put my fingers inside of you and stretch you like I'm doing, don't you? Yeah, you like this, I can tell."

He grinned when the blonde moaned and turned bright red. "But you like it when my cock his in there more, don't you? Answer me, Naruto," he added when Naruto merely continued moaning.

"Y-yes!" he yelped when Sasuke slid in a second and third finger. "Yes, I like it!"

"Good little kitty," Sasuke smirked. Naruto glared at him over his shoulder, but the effect was very greatly ruined by the ears and collar. He wanted to tell the raven how much of a bastard he was, but all he could do was moan said bastard's name when he slid inside of his tight heat.

"Damn," Sasuke hissed, pressing a kiss between Naruto's shoulder blades, "you're still so tight, babe. You wouldn't think that we just did it last night."

Naruto scowled at him. "I t-told you not to c-call me that!" he snapped.

"Hn. Whatever, babe." He didn't wait a second more to start pounding into his boyfriend. Naruto practically screamed out Sasuke's name and pushed back against his hips, meeting the thrusts. As always, the youngest Uchiha had found his prostate on the first thrust, increasing the sensation one hundredfold.

Sasuke already felt himself coming; the sight of Naruto on all fours like that in his neko costume, his ass in the air – all of it was almost too much. He refused to let go before his uke though – his pride simply wouldn't allow it. So he snaked a hand in between their bodies and grasped Naruto's manhood firmly. The one touch was enough to make Naruto come screaming out Sasuke's name. Sasuke followed immediately after him, spilling his seed inside the blonde as he collapsed on the mattress. He pumped in and out of him a few more times, letting Naruto's clenching entrance milk him for all it was worth before slipping out.

Naruto had already passed out, which made the raven give a tired chuckle. He relaxed on the bed for a moment with his blonde before carefully climbing out of bed. Naruto made a helpless keening noise, grabbed Sasuke's pillow, and then drifted back off.

Sasuke routed around quietly in the closet for a moment before coming across what he was looking for – a Polaroid camera. He crept over to the bed and pried his pillow out of the blonde's grasp. He then laid Naruto on his back, fixed his cat ears, and snapped a few pictures. Once he was done, he placed all the pictures under the false bottom of his nightstand drawer were he kept a few other pictures Naruto knew nothing about. It was better that way, though. The less he knew the better.

He climbed back into bed and let Naruto cling to him, slipping his arms around the younger in return. He took off Naruto's collar – which, although the blonde hadn't noticed, read "Property of Sasuke Uchiha. If found DO NOT TOUCH." He didn't want his kitsune to suffocate after all.

Thoroughly exhausted, Sasuke buried his face into Naruto's hair and fell asleep.


	4. If You Can't Stand the Heat

**Wow this took me forever.... But thanks to everyone that reviewed! This chapter has lots of smut, so I hope that makes up for it! Please keep reviewing and sending messages!! I'm sick today, which is why I was able to get this chapter out. Not that you people care, you just want the smut (and I really can't blame you) :D Also, I'm thinking of writing a prequel to this once I'm done about Naruto and Sasuke's first time together (which is briefly mentioned in this chapter). Thoughts?**

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_"Sasuke and Naruto may have sex in any room of the apartment. Valid one night only."_

* * *

Naruto demanded for the costume to be thrown out the next morning, completely mortified by the night's events. He still couldn't believe that he had let Sasuke dress him up like that! What was he thinking?! Sasuke was good at distracting him, maybe too good. He'd have to work on changing that.

So it was only after two straight hours of arguing and several threats of another week sleeping on the couch that Sasuke took the costume to the building's trash chute. He walked there as slowly as possible, trying to dawdle as much as he could. When he got there, he stared at it for a minute or so. He sighed and reached for the handle to pull open the chute when something caught his eye – the plaque on the door next to the trash chute that read "Janitorial". Sasuke smirked and closed the chute roughly, then opened the closet door.

He flicked on the light and grimaced; everything inside the closet was covered in dust and grime, absolutely filthy – ironically filthy, as it was a janitorial closet. Sasuke looked around for a slightly clean place to stick the bag that held the costume, and finally slid it on to the top of a tall cabinet.

Still smirking, he slid out of the room and went back to their apartment. He composed his face into a scowl before reentering.

"Naruto, I threw it out!" he called in a falsely sullen voice. No response. He frowned and stuck his head in the kitchen. No blonde boyfriend in there either. He checked Naruto's art studio, and finally approached their bedroom. Their was a small piece of paper tacked onto the outside. Sasuke yanked it off and read it.

_Have fun on the couch, bastard._

_ I win._

_

* * *

_

Sasuke slept on the couch for two days, which really wasn't a lot compared to seven, but it was still awful for him. The night that Naruto let him back into bed he took him three times without even using anything fun. Naruto had a limp for the next few days, but also a huge goofy grin to match his boyfriend's smirk.

Little did Naruto know, however, that Sasuke was plotting his and Naruto's next fun filled romp. He still had plenty of things he'd bought from Deidara's shop, and nine more coupons that promised the utmost pleasure. So much fun and so much time, so much fun...-

"Ne, Sasuke, did you say something?" Naruto asked. He was currently at the stove fixing their dinner.

"No, Naru-chan," he smirked, standing up silently and sauntering behind the blonde. He slipped his arms around him, making him jump a little. But then he smiled affectionately and leaned up to peck the raven's lips. Sasuke immediately deepened the kiss, making him moan quietly. Naruto tore his lips from the raven's, gasping. Sasuke smirk only got wider and he leaned down to sample the tan neck that was presented to him.

"Sa-Sasuke, stop it!" he groaned, blindly swatting at Sasuke.

"Hm.... No. I'm using a coupon. Right _now_." He groaned again, letting his head fall back on Sasuke's shoulder. "Hn. Dobe, if you hadn't really wanted this, then you wouldn't have made me the coupon book in the first place."

Naruto sputtered at the comment, and Sasuke decided that his mouth was better suited for other activities. Like kissing. Or other... things that they could get to later, he hoped.

Sasuke almost chuckled when memories of giving his dobe his first blow job flooded into his mind. Naruto was the epitome of a naive virgin, having no knowledge of how sex (especially sex between two men) worked. He was bright red from the time Sasuke took his shirt off to when they had finished. Anyways, when Sasuke started to suck him off, Naruto pushed him onto the floor and exclaimed, "What the hell, bastard? Th-that's gross!" Sasuke had chuckled and told him that it was far from gross, actually very pleasurable. Naruto didn't believe it until Sasuke deep throated him in one go.

"Sasuke!" Naruto whined, very unhappy with his boyfriend spacing out at a time like this. He pulled on the raven locks in front of him to get his attention. "S-stop da-daydreaming and get on with it al-already!"

Sasuke smirked. "With pleasure," he purred. He slid down the blonde's lithe body and undid his pants, pulling out his already leaking erection. Leering up at the blonde through his bangs, he licked the tip languidly. Naruto's breath hitched and he threw his head back. But it wasn't enough for Sasuke. He wouldn't stop until he got him to _scream_.

So without further ado, he set out on this very important mission. He pulled away, making Naruto groan and push his hips up, trying to follow his mouth. Swiftly, Sasuke pulled his pants off, pinned his hips down, and then licked the tip of his erection again. This made the blonde bite his lip and worry it between his pearly white teeth. He tossed his head to the side and would no longer look at his boyfriend – he had once mentioned that it still made him fill a little dirty when Sasuke sucked him off, especially when he watched him.

"Naruto.... If you don't watch I'm not going to do it," Sasuke warned in a low, growling voice that somehow managed to still be sexy.

Hesitating for a second, he turned his head back reluctantly to watch.

"Good boy," he purred happily. He took the head in his mouth and gave a slow suck. Moaning, Naruto put his hands behind him to brace himself against the stove, only to yelp and clutch his scalding hands to his chest. His boyfriend wanted to laugh at the blonde's forgetfulness, but his concern for his dobe overrode that urge.

He grabbed his hands and examined them. They were a little pink, but not burnt horribly. Sasuke sighed softly and kissed each palm tenderly.

"Better?" he asked.

Naruto loved it when the raven was so sweet and considerate, but he blamed him for getting his hands burned. If he wasn't so damn sexy and had to try to distract Naruto with sex, then he wouldn't have gotten hurt! So he scowled and shoved the raven away from him.

"You're a damned idiot if you think you're getting any tonight," he snapped, turning back towards the stove. "And look! You made me neglect dinner and now it's ruined!" A pout now formed on his face. "You're sleeping on the couch-"

Before he could even finish the dreaded sentence, Sasuke quickly leaned around him, shut off the stove, and then lifted him up bridal style. Naruto hollered angrily and pounded on his chest, demanding for the horny Uchiha to put him down. Of course, said demands fell on deaf ears. However, Naruto managed to wiggle from Sasuke's arms and tumble onto the couch.

"If you wanted it in the living room all you had to do was say so," Sasuke growled, crawling on top of him. "I would have been happy to oblige."

"Sasuke, no! Get off!" He obviously did no such thing. "You – you just used your sex in any room coupon in the kitchen, bastard!" Here he gave a very Sasuke-like smirk, thinking that he had his boyfriend. But he was oh-so wrong, Sasuke thought happily.

"Hn. First of all, we didn't go all the way – I didn't even get to finish sucking your perfect cock." Sasuke smirked when Naruto turned red. "Second of all, it says 'valid one night only' on the coupon – so I can use it still, since it's the same night."

Naruto spluttered indignantly, and Sasuke thought that he could be busy doing other things. So he silenced him with a demanding kiss. Naruto, of course, protested again, but eventually had no choice but to melt into it. He cursed his penis for getting hard again (since he had completely deflated since burning himself), but couldn't fight that either. He just allowed Sasuke to tug off his apron and shirt and kiss the delicious skin the action revealed.

Sasuke was delighted with the sudden cooperation and took advantage of it. He tore off his own clothes and fished behind the couch cushions, looking for the lube he'd hidden there just in case. With a flourish and a triumphant smirk, he pulled it out only to be thumped on the side of the head by a scowling Naruto.

"Teme! Why the hell is that there?!"

Sasuke merely replied "Hn" monotonously and crawled down Naruto's body to reach his pink entrance. They had sex constantly, on a daily basis pretty much, but Sasuke prepared him anyways. He refused to hurt Naruto, and besides, it was an act he enjoyed doing. Getting to taste the delicious pucker....

"Sasuke...."

Watching his tongue move in and out of it....

"Sasuke."

Seeing his fingers slip in and out, being swallowed by the tight heat....

"Sasuke!"

Naruto pouted, unhappy that his bastard of a boyfriend was just staring at his entrance, looking entranced and hungry all at once. With an irritable sigh, he snatched up the lube, poured some on his fingers, and shoved two of them up his own entrance. He gasped out his boyfriend's name and frantically started preparing himself.

Sasuke almost came at the sight of the blonde fingering himself. Naruto really must have been as desperate as him, because he'd never prepared himself before, not even when Sasuke took forever to get to the task. So to the raven, this was a dream – a very wet dream – come true. He continued to watch, nearly drooling, as Naruto added another finger. He groaned and bucked his hips up, gasping out "Sasuke!". That was too much for him – he tore Naruto's hand away and kissed him forcefully.

"God, Naruto," he growled, lubing his member as he spoke, "you are so _damn_ hot."

He blushed, turning his head to the side. Sasuke merely smirked and swiftly slid inside of his boyfriend. Naruto moaned loudly, surprised at the sudden entry. Nonetheless, he wrapped his legs around Sasuke in encouragement and demanded more.

"You want more? Fine, you got it."

He started thrusting as fast and hard as he possible could, but Naruto didn't complain. It was harsh and quick and perfect all at once. Normally they didn't have rough sex, but this felt _so_ good.

As always, Naruto came first, spurting his completion all over Sasuke's and his chests. Sasuke groaned, dipping his head down to rest between Naruto's neck and shoulder as he milked him dry. For a moment, they both just laid there panting, before Sasuke stood and scooped up the blonde. Said blonde snuggled into his boyfriend's chest, thinking that they were merely going to bed now, but instead he found himself bent over the arm of the couch.

"Sasuke?!" he exclaimed.

"We're not done yet, dobe," he said simply. Already erect again, he fingered Naruto to get him hard and lubed himself up again. He slid in effortlessly and their dance began again, though this time it was much slower and more affectionate. Sasuke was cooing things into Naruto's ear that made him blush and bury his face in the cushions. They were both close again when-

"What a wonderful display of youth you are presenting, my youthful friends!"

The couple looked up to see Lee sporting a nosebleed and a face splitting grin as he stood in their doorway. Sasuke's eyes flicked down to Naruto nervously, hoping that he wasn't going to call it off. But to his surprise, he scowled and threw a pillow at the door, knocking Lee backwards as it slammed shut in his face. He then twisted his head around and snapped, "Why'd you stop?!"

Smirking, Sasuke continued their activities. Whether his dobe knew it or liked it or not, he was becoming more and more like the raven. This coupon book was making their lives even better than Sasuke thought that it would.

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**Review Please!!!! And thoughts on the prequel? Thank you peoples!**


	5. Sasuke's Choice

**Yeah Chapter 5! I think this chapter's pretty good.... It has more of a plot leading up to the smut than the other chapters. I tried to do my bestest :D This chapter is for Itooshii Koneko who gave me the idea for this chapter. Yeah for Itooshii Koneko! :D Now just a few notes.....**

**There was a little confusion about the number of coupons which was brought to my attention by an anonymous reviewer, so just in case anyone else is confused I'll elaborate.**

**To chuppi - I checked a million times, and I didn't make a mistake - as of that point in Chapter 4, there were nine coupons left - the two used in the two previous chapters, and Sasuke hadn't used a coupon yet in Chapter 4. I explained in Chapter 3 that I was adding an eleventh coupon to the story, thus another chapter. That makes it nine coupons left at that part in Chapter 4. I'm not mad or anything, just explaining :)**

**Okay, that's enough rambling - on with the smut! Remember the more reviews the faster the next chapter arrives!**

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_"Sasuke may have one night of sex with Naruto during which Sasuke may do whatever he pleases. Valid one night only."_

* * *

Naruto was, once again, unable to walk straight for a few days after their romp in the living room. This time he was a little irritated with Sasuke because Kiba had noticed and made fun of him for it. Luckily, though, he didn't make Sasuke stay on the couch. And to the raven's credit, he hadn't pushed Naruto into doing anything over the top. But that could only last for a certain amount off time before-

"Teme, get _off_!"

Too late.

"No," Sasuke replied simply. Naruto squirmed as he tried to push him away, but the raven held on tightly and continued sucking on his neck contentedly.

"Sasuke, I mean it! Knock it off, Iruka and Kakashi are right in the other room!"

"Admit it, my sexy little dobe, deep down you've always been an exhibitionist."

Naruto bit down on Sasuke's hand as it ghosted over his lips. Sasuke, though he'd never admit it, yelped in a rather undignified way and jumped back. Damn! Naruto bit hard. Biting wasn't as fun outside of sex....

"If you don't behave yourself, Sasuke, you will be on the couch tonight," Naruto hissed, waving a large metal spatula at him threateningly. He glared at Sasuke for a moment for emphasis, then threw the spatula back down on the counter and grabbed the cookies he'd just finished baking. He stepped back into the living room bearing a wide grin.

"Kakashi, Iruka, look! I made-"

Naruto suddenly froze, dropping the plate with a thud and sending the baked treats to the floor. Sasuke frowned and stepped behind his dobe to see what was wrong, then snorted.

Kakashi had Iruka splayed out on the couch underneath him, and Iruka's shirt was open. Kakashi was sucking happily on one of his husband's nipples, and Iruka was fisting his hair with a half pleasured, half annoyed look on his face. Neither noticed the younger couple in the doorway.

"K-Kashi, knock it off," he grumbled. "Naruto and Sasuke are-"

"Wondering why there's two old perverts 'getting it on' on our couch," Sasuke finished, amusement tinting his voice. Iruka turned bright red and hastily buttoned up his shirt, but Kakashi just grinned.

"Knew you won't mind, Sasuke!" he said brightly. Naruto squeaked, turning a shade of red to match Iruka's, then quickly spun around and hid his face in Sasuke's chest. The raven chuckled and slipped his arms around his boyfriend, kissing the top of his head.

"My eyes!" wailed the blonde. "Oh _God_! I still see it even when I'm not looking!"

Kakashi and Sasuke, needless to say, were far more amused by the entire situation than their ukes were.

Naruto was more embarrassed than anything after they caught his foster father and the old pervert on the couch. Sasuke thought it was hilarious, but didn't dare say anything because he knew it would annoy the blonde. Despite being an Uchiha, and thus having the hereditary I'm-holier-than-thou-art Uchiha attitude, Naruto still held power over him – the power of controlling Sasuke's use of his ass, and being an uke – a very sexy uke at that. And though Sasuke's brother refused to admit it, he knew that it was like that with him and Deidara, too.

Speaking of Deidara....

His brother's blonde had pounded on the door right as Sasuke was about to move Naruto and himself to the bedroom. He growled angrily when Naruto quickly pulled his shirt on and went to answer the door, and grew more pissed when he saw that it was Deidara. Putting the two blondes together always had disastrous results – the two always either came up with some idiotic idea (like the time they invented Extreme Mattress Surfing, a game in which one blonde would blindfold the other and push him down a set of stairs while standing on a mattress), or come up with the idea that their semes were evil perverts that didn't respect them, and thus another Week With No Sunshine would commence. Sasuke didn't like it when the two blondes visited. Did he mention there wasn't much sex when Deidara was around?

But when Naruto opened the door to reveal Deidara in tears, he wondered what had happened and if his brother was hurt or sick or something.

"Deidara? What's wrong?" Naruto fretted, slinging an arm around the smaller blonde's shoulders.

"Itachi's a bastard, un," he sniffled. Naruto made a sympathetic noise and quickly led Deidara into the kitchen. Sasuke had a horrible feeling that Deidara's visit was going to be having an awful impact on his sex life....

"What happened?" Naruto asked, sitting across from Deidara at the kitchen table.

"Well, I didn't have a good day at the shop to start with, un. I had the most awful costumers and one of them knocked down a display of new lube, and I spent an hour getting all those bottles and tubes and crap back on the shelf in the right way, un. Then someone else knocked them down! I had to skip lunch to organize it again. And when I _finally_ got to go home, Itachi pretended to listen to me and tried to get me into bed immediately after, un! He didn't even bother trying to listen to me! Oh, and then, I said 'Itachi, un, does it really look like I'm in the mood?' And he says 'Deidara, does it really look like I care?' Doesn't that sound like he wanted to rape me, un? Ugh!"

With a thud, he let his head fall onto the table.

"Oh, Deidara," Naruto cooed. "I'm sorry. Do you want some ice cream?"

Sasuke nearly groaned. Ice cream equaled the two talking for hours, and them talking never led to anything good – see the above "game" they invented.

"But Naruto-!" Sasuke _didn't_ whine the words. He didn't.

Naruto slapped his hand away irritably. "Don't even try it, bastard! You're a moron if you think you're getting any tonight! And you know what? This thing must be hereditary or something because half the time I really don't think you're listening to me, just staring! Bastard!" he repeated for emphasis. With a huff and a nod to himself, Naruto spun around to the freezer and grabbed a pint of chocolate fudge ice cream. He grabbed two spoons, threw a third one at Sasuke, and screamed "Get out!"

Sasuke sighed and quickly ducked the flying cutlery that was being hurled at his head. He had barely managed to tug his shirt back on before Naruto reappeared, brandishing another spoon at him.

"Teme-!"

"I'm going!" he snapped, snatching his car keys from the bowl next to the door. "See you tomorrow, dobe. I lo-"

The door slammed in his face.

Sasuke sighed as he looked up at the large apartment building. It had started to rain almost the exact second he climbed from his car (it just figures), and his damn brother was taking his fucking time answering-

"What the hell do you want?" snarled the familiar voice from the intercom.

"It's me. Your uke is giving mine evil ideas and he kicked me out."

"...It's open."

Sasuke didn't comment when he walked into the apartment and found Itachi slumped in the armchair, throwing some kind of alcohol back. He fell next to his brother and snatched the bottle.

"What are we having?"

"Don't know," grunted the older Uchiha; Sasuke could tell Itachi was really off the deep end, and Itachi was a very hard person to get drunk. "'s kinda bitter at first, but after the second bottle it starts tasting real good."

Yep, completely off the charts drunk. Deidara must have driven around a while before coming to their apartment, because it would have taken at least an hour of straight, near none stop drinking to get his brother like this. But Sasuke didn't question it, merely taking a swig from the bottle. He almost choked – this stuff was _strong_, and he could hold liquor even better than his brother. But that was what he and his brother did when their ukes got like this – they wallowed in self pity, got drunk off their asses (and terrible hangovers), and then endured a few days of Deidara and Naruto telling them they're stupid and it's all their faults.

It's simply the cycle of life.

The next morning, Sasuke woke up in nothing but his boxers, splayed out over his brother's kitchen table. He blinked, then groaned as a ray of sunshine hit his eyes. His head was throbbing and his throat stung and tasted of vomit. Jesus, how drunk did they get last night...?

He groaned again as he climbed off the table and shuffled into the living room. His brother, unlike him, wasn't fully clothed – he was stark naked laying on the couch. Sasuke's eye twitched and he moved on quickly to the bathroom.

After throwing up some of last night's alcohol, Sasuke swallowed a few painkillers and then went off to search for his clothes. His shirt was placed over a lamp shade and had things written all over it (things ranging from sensible to nonsensical, from "Uchiha's rule!" to "The magic unicorn will take us to the land of blonde ukes."). Sasuke desperately wished he remembered that one, and left his shirt there (everything was written in Sharpie, anyways).

His pants were in the master bathroom, simply lying on the floor, while Itachi's were hanging from the shower head. His shoes he found in the oven, something else he wished he remembered. With a sigh, he tiredly trudged back out to his car. He staggered and was momentarily blinded by the sun, and quickly stumbled to his car. He found some of Naruto's sunglasses in the glove compartment and shoved them on.

The drive home was long, and as Sasuke entered his and Naruto's abode, he saw a blob of blonde hair sticking out from under a blanket on the couch. He didn't even bother to see which blonde it was – he merely shoved him aside and crawled next to him. The figure grunted, but stayed asleep.

He was almost asleep again when suddenly–

_"What the __**hell**__ are you doing with Deidara, teme?"_

There wasn't a Week With No Sunshine. No, there were two Weeks. It was supposed to be a month, but Sasuke couldn't take it anymore. So, while his blonde slept, he quietly crept over to the closet and tugged out the black bag he'd managed to hide there. Naruto didn't even know about the rest of the toys – he'd thought it ended with the costume. Oh, how wrong he was.

Sasuke smirked and silently stalked over to his prey – boyfriend, I mean. His smirk grew tenfold as he set to work.

"Ngh...," Naruto groaned quietly, rubbing his face into the pillow. He noticed a lack of heat from his side, where Sasuke usually slept, and tried to reach for him. Keyword – tried. His hands, for whatever reason, were above his head, bound there by cool metal handcuffs. His eyes snapped open, and when he saw nothing and realized that not only was he bound to the bed, but _blindfolded and naked_, he started to panic.

"Dobe, relax. It's just me. You really think I'd let someone get this close to you, let alone do this to you?"

**"Bastard, I swear to God, if you don't let me go, you are so dead!"**

"Nah ah ah, you can't stop me," Sasuke taunted. He pushed the blindfold up a little and placed a small paper in front of the blonde's stunning blue eyes. "Read this."

Naruto's eyes scanned over the coupon and he scowled, letting his head drop back. "I knew I shouldn't have included that one...!"

"Oh, but you did," Sasuke grinned, obviously enjoying this. He pushed the blindfold back over his boyfriend's eyes, despite how much he loved them. "Now, let's get started, shall we...?"

"Teme, I mean it – oh! ...Oh...."

Sasuke smirked around the blonde's nipple and pinched the other, causing Naruto to groan and arch up into him. Being blindfolded only increased all the wonderful sensations he was feeling. And, though Naruto could go much longer without sex than Sasuke could, he had to admit that two weeks of celibacy had started getting to him.

Sasuke drew everything out, despite his own throbbing need. He kissed, sucked, and nibbled every exposed inch of the blonde's tan skin, paying special attention to his extra sensitive areas. Naruto squirmed underneath his boyfriend, making the most delicious sounds Sasuke had ever heard. But he won't stop until the hyperactive blonde begged.

Bypassing his erection completely, Sasuke instead left a dark mark on the inside of each of Naruto's thighs.

"Mine," he growled, shoving his boyfriend's legs up to his chest. "You're _mine_. Say it!"

"Yours!" he groaned obediently. "All yours... no one else's!"

"Good boy," Sasuke praised, reaching for the lube. Dipping his fingers into the jar, he let them circle the blonde's entrance for a long moment, teasing the skin there. He let his hand trail up and caressed his balls, making Naruto keen and push his hips down.

"Sasuke! _Please_!"

Smirking, Sasuke trailed his fingers back down and slipped one into the waiting, puckered hole. That was what he had been waiting for, so Naruto could have what he wanted, he supposed. He took off the blonde's blindfold and was momentarily transfixed as the bright blue orbs were revealed. Said blonde blinked, adjusting his eyes, and then peered up at his boyfriend with his classic uke expression.

"No – you, not fingers!" Naruto whined, rolling his hips impatiently.

Sasuke frowned. "No. We haven't had sex in two weeks, Naruto. I have to stretch you. I **refuse** to hurt you."

"Won't hurt me – _please_, Sasu!"

Sasuke almost caved at hearing the blonde beg so erratically. His cock twitched at the needy voice, but he pushed his lust down momentarily. He repeated his previous statement, his voice slightly more raspy, and added another finger, scissoring them. He smirked when his boyfriend let out a wailing moan, signaling that he'd hit his prostate.

Sasuke tortured the poor blonde mercilessly, adding the third finger only after he'd brought him right to the brink of climax and then winding him back down.

"S-Sasuke, if you don't do it right now or let me go then I swear you won't get back in this bed-!"

The raven, needless to say, was quick to withdraw his fingers and reached up to undo the blonde's bonds. Said blonde immediately tossed his arms around Sasuke's neck and flipped them over, something he wouldn't have been able to do if he hadn't caught Sasuke off guard. He snatched up the lube, spread some over Sasuke's dick, and then lowered himself down.

Sasuke groaned, gripping Naruto's hips tightly and throwing his head back. It wasn't often that Naruto rode him – usually he was either too embarrassed, or Sasuke was in too much of a dominate mood to let the blonde me on top of him, regardless of whose dick was where. However, he couldn't deny that watching the blonde ride him was hot.

Naruto's nose scrunched up, and Sasuke would have thought it cute if not for the fact that the blonde was in pain.

"Naru...to...," he growled, "I told you-"

"I'm fine, bastard," he grumbled back. He rolled his hips and grimaced. Sasuke tightened his grip on his boyfriend's hips and scowled dazedly, daring him to move. Naruto pouted, but didn't. Instead, he bent his head down and sucked eagerly at the spot where his boyfriend's neck met his shoulders.

After a moment, Sasuke decided that Naruto was loose enough (and that he could no longer wait), he thrust his hips up as a hint for Naruto. The blonde moaned and eagerly started to bounce up and down on his cock. Sasuke kept his eyes on the blonde's face, entranced by the sight of him in pleasure, his head thrown back and his mouth open. God, Naruto was was too damn sexy for his own good. Just looking at the blonde above him made him want to come in barely a minute.

Luckily, not having sex for two weeks made Naruto overly sensitive, and he came without Sasuke even having to touch him. Seeing Naruto come, hearing him call out his name led Sasuke to climax, too.

Once they both came down from their highs, Naruto lay sprawled out over Sasuke's as the raven ran his fingers through the sunshine yellow hair. Naruto yawned cutely and rubbed his face into Sasuke's chest, almost making his boyfriend want another round.

"Love you," Naruto mumbled, kissing his boyfriend's neck.

Sasuke smiled a small smile only Naruto saw. "Love you, too."

"...Even if you are a horny bastard."

"Dobe!"


	6. Master Sasuke

**Our little Naruto gets kind of slutty in this one... Yeah? I don't know, I kind of like innocent, naive Naruto better. Tell me what you think!**

* * *

_"Naruto will call Sasuke 'Sasuke-sama' during sex. Valid one night only."_

* * *

Naruto kicked Sasuke out of the apartment for the day following the previous coupon incident. Sasuke pouted for a while in his car, then drove off to the only place he could think of – Itachi and Deidara's. Deidara would be at the shop, so Itachi wouldn't be molesting him while Sasuke tried to talk (or, in this case, pout – though Sasuke called it brooding, refusing to admit he pouted). Yes, it would be ideal to not have his brother molesting his uke – it only made Sasuke want to molest his own blonde.

When he got there, however, Itachi wasn't there. He must have been at work, Sasuke thought sourly, slightly pissed his only option left was to hang out in a sex shop with his brother's boyfriend. It wasn't that he didn't like Deidara, but, like Naruto, he tended to be high maintenance and childish. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad... Maybe he could get more things for him and Naruto to play with. Sasuke smirked. It was suddenly a much more appealing idea.

It wasn't so appealing, however, when he walked into the shop to fine Deidara perched on the counter top and Itachi with one hand up the blonde's shirt, the other palming his crotch, and his lips firmly attached to his neck. The shop's owner had his head tilted back, his face contorted in pleasure, his hands buried in his boyfriend's raven locks. Without a word, the youngest Uchiha left, scowling bitterly.

Everybody was getting some but him.

* * *

He really, _really_ didn't want to do it. He would rather walk into the office naked first. Well, maybe not naked, but in his boxers or something. The point was, he simply dreaded having to go to his last resort. However, he was desperate for something to do (besides Naruto).

"Please don't be the freak," Sasuke mumbled to himself as he heard footsteps on the other side of the door. "Please, please, please-"

"Sasuke, my youthful friend!"

Shit. Sasuke punched Lee when he tried to hug him. Scowl set firmly in place, he strode passed Lee as he stumbled into the umbrella stand.

"It is always a pleasure to see your bright, shining face, Sasuke-san!" Lee called after him, still doubled over and clutching his stomach.

He found Sakura in the kitchen making tea and humming to herself. She glanced up at him and said, "Hey Sasuke."

"Hn," was his predictable reply as he slumped into a seat. She frowned wearily at him.

"What's the matter?"

Before the raven was able to answer, though, the phone rang. He scowled once more and watched Sakura as she answered it.

"Hello? Hi, Naruto! I just-"

She stopped, frowning slightly, and stared at the ground. Her eyes flicked up to Sasuke and narrowed.

"Oh he did, did he?" she said, venom lacing her voice. She reached out one of her claws (hands, but Sasuke thought them to be claws), and swiped at him, but he jumped back and hurried from the kitchen. Lee was in the front hall, picking up all the umbrellas and what not, when Sasuke came in.

"Leaving already, my cheerful comrade?" he asked pleasantly. Sasuke ignored him and walked out.

"Alright, well, have a wonderful, youthful day, Sasuke-san!" Lee called after him. The only form of a response he got was the door slamming in his face for the second time that month.

Sasuke stomped back to his car indignantly, scowling unhappily. He couldn't visit either Deidara or Itachi because they were no doubt still going at it like bunnies (which he was still rather pissed about), Lee annoyed the hell out of him, and Sakura wanted to hurt him for making Naruto mad. He supposed he could go to the office and try to get some work done, but he figured that he would be too distracted with thoughts of Naruto to get anything done. His scowl deepened as he turned the car on and sped down the street. There wasn't anything for him to do without Naruto around. It sucked.

He drove around aimlessly for at least an hour, and then finally decided that maybe if he went and got some ramen Naruto would let him back in. So he went to Ichiraku's, got the blonde enough ramen for at least four people, and drove home as fast as he could.

* * *

"Naruto!" Sasuke called as he entered the apartment. He threw his keys in the bowl by the door and kicked his shoes off. "Come here!"

Scowling a scowl that could rival one of his boyfriend's, Naruto stomped out of his art studio. He wore a white tank top, showing off his paint splattered, muscled arms, and a pair of Sasuke's black sweats (the raven knew they were his because they were too big for Naruto).

"Bastard, I told you – did you go to Ichiraku's?"

The blonde tried to snatch the bag from the raven's hands, but the teme held it just out of his reach.

"That depends," he replied airily. "Are you going to let me back in the apartment?"

"Yes, just give me the ramen!" Naruto snapped, jumping to try and get it. Curse his (adorable) shortness!

Smirking slight, Sasuke lowered the bag and allowed the blonde to snatch it from him. He glared at Sasuke, then kissed his cheek and mumbled a quiet thanks before turning to the kitchen. He plopped down at the table and tore the bag opening, grinning as he saw just how much ramen his boyfriend had gotten him. He turned and showed his bright smile to Sasuke, then quickly tore into the food.

The raven smiled softly to himself, leaning against the doorway as he watched the blonde eat. The poor, ignorant dobe. He didn't really think that he could kick Sasuke out and not get away with it, did he? Oh, the blonde was so naïve...

That night, Naruto was in bed flipping channels, waiting for Sasuke to finish in the bathroom. He always took forever in there, every night and every morning. He was like a girl, taking an eternity to make sure he looked perfect. But Naruto thought it was cute. He'd told Sasuke that once, and he got made at the blonde because he was **not** cute, he was manly, and had kept Naruto in bed for the whole day proving it. And what a day it was.

Sasuke finally came out of the bathroom and sauntered over to the bed. Naruto didn't notice his smirk as he stalked towards the unsuspecting blonde.

"Finally, bastard, I thought I'd have to force you away from the mirror," he mumbled, eyes still glued to the TV. Sasuke's smirk grew.

"Naruto," he purred lowly. Immediately, sky blue eyes snapped to him and narrowed threateningly.

"Don't even think about it, perverted teme! I – I'm still mad at you!" Naruto exclaimed, scrambling to the edge of the bed. Sasuke tutted and picked up the remote. After turning off the television, he tossed the device over his shoulder, not caring where it landed.

"Ah ah, Naru-chan, 'perverted teme' isn't my name. Neither is 'bastard'," he purred. "It's Sasuke-sama. Or Master. Or Master-sama. Oo, I like that one. Don't you?"

Naruto groaned, eyes darting around to try to find a way to escape. "N-no," he stuttered. "Bastard, you're using this present against me!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, snatching the blonde by the waist and straddling him. "Wasn't that the entire point? It's a coupon book for things for us to do during sex, Naruto. Was I just supposed to let it sit on my nightstand and admire it? Besides, this-" He shoved a small rectangular piece of paper at the blonde. "-says that you've already agreed to calling me 'Sasuke-sama'."

Naruto pouted. "...Fine. But this is never happening again!"

'We'll see about that,' Sasuke thought. But he nodded anyways, then quickly moved on to their newest game. "Now Naruto, you've neglected to call me by the proper name three times now. I suppose you'll just have to be punished, now. Wouldn't you agree?"

As he spoke, his hand snaked over to the nightstand. He snatched up the handcuffs, and before Naruto could blink, had the blonde's hands attached to the headboard. Of course, the blonde snapped at his boyfriend, twisting to get away, but it was all in vain; Sasuke wasn't letting him get anywhere soon. Indeed, it seemed they were starting already. Sasuke had grasped his boyfriend's cock and stroked it languidly. Naruto moaned and pushed his hips up, straining against his bonds.

"Hm, let's see... You failed to call me by the proper name three times. What do you think would be a suitable punishment for that? I could get you hard and just leave you here... Ten minutes for every little slip up... that's thirty minutes, Naru. What to you think of that?"

Naruto shook his head frantically, blonde locks flying everywhere. Sasuke smirked slightly. "I didn't think you'd like that. No, we won't do that. But we still have to figure something out for you."

"Sasuke-sama!" Naruto gasped, shoving his hips up. "Please!"

The feather light touches were driving him insane, and he needed more contact. Sasuke chuckled lowly and replied, "No, not yet. You still have to be punished."

Thinking quickly, he removed himself from his position on top of Naruto and climbed from the bed. Sasuke chuckled again as the blonde's eyes went wide and he panicked, twisting himself towards the raven.

"S-Sasuke-sama!" he wailed. "Y-you promised th-that you wouldn't leave me h-here!"

"I never promised, dobe, I just said we had to figure something out. But don't worry, I'm not doing that. Oh no." His smirk returned as he sauntered to the closet, stripping himself of his boxers as he went. He opened the door and withdrew a black bag. He was faced at an angle that Naruto couldn't see what he was doing, but he preferred that. He found what he had been looking for, replaced the bag, and turned to face Naruto again.

The blonde gulped. The look on the other man's face could be described as nearly sadistic. He stalked to the bed again and crawled on top of his boyfriend; never once did Sasuke let him see what he had gotten from the closet.

To keep his dobe distracted, Sasuke kissed him. Softly at first, then quickly building up in passion. Then, out of nowhere, a noise broke through the otherwise silence in the bedroom.

_Click._

Naruto jerked away from Sasuke, yelping and breaking the kiss.

"What the hell!" he yelled. "Bastard, take it off!"

"Hn. No. Not if you're going to keep calling me 'bastard' when you know that's not my name, Naru."

Naruto pouted, falling back against the pillows with a huff. He knew there was no way Sasuke would take the cock ring off any time soon – but it wasn't like he couldn't try. Resisting the urge to give an evil, Sasuke-like smirk, he threw his head back, moaned, and lifted his hips to grind against Sasuke. The raven's eyes widened at the erotic display. He never would have thought Naruto would cave so early. Maybe he though Sasuke would take the cock ring off if he was good.

"Master!" he whined. "Master, please at least take off the handcuffs. I want to pleasure you, too."

Sasuke, eyes still wide, reached up and took the handcuffs off. Naruto rubbed his wrists, and then, taking advantage of Sasuke being off guard, flipped them over.

"Dobe!" the raven exclaimed angrily.

"Shh," Naruto purred, straddling his boyfriend. He pressed their lips together, but drew back before Sasuke could react. "I have to take care of my master, now don't I?"

Sasuke watched, entranced, as Naruto crawled down the pale torso and gave a long lick to the head of the raven's cock. His breath hitched and his hands snaked down to grasp Naruto's sunshine yellow locks. After a warning glare from Naruto, though, he loosened his grip and settled for massaging the blonde's head as he sucked him.

Naruto had sucked Sasuke off only three times before (and one of those times the blonde was drunk); Sasuke was usually the one doing the sucking. But this turn of events wasn't at all unappreciated – Sasuke was going to get Naruto to do this more often. God, the blonde knew how to use that tongue!

Said blonde continued to suck happily on his boyfriend's cock. He didn't do this too often, but he did enjoy Sasuke's taste (he refused to admit that to the raven, though). He sucked contentedly and lapped at the head with his tongue. Sasuke moaned quietly, letting his eyes slip closed. What had he done to deserve this...?

Naruto deep throated Sasuke, making him groan the blonde's name, push his hips up, and explode inside Naruto's mouth after only a few sucks. He usually didn't let himself go so quickly, but his boyfriend's mouth was just so warm, so perfect that he couldn't help himself.

Naruto tilted his head to one side cutely, watching Sasuke as he panted for breath. A few flecks of cum had landed on his face, and Sasuke groaned at the purely sexy sight. He leaned forward and licked them off, ignoring the blonde's mortified squeak.

"God, Naru," Sasuke groaned, tugging the blonde forward so they were chest to chest. "Why are you so perfect?"

Naruto flushed again, sputtering. Sasuke smiled and pushed some hair from his face, kissing his forehead. He rolled them over again, so he was once more settled on top of the blonde's hips, and started grinding against him. Their mouths met in a sloppy yet passionate mess of teeth and tongues. Sasuke reached for the jar of lube on the nightstand, blindly coating three fingers in the substance, and then pressed two of them right into the blonde's entrance.

"Sasuke-sama!" Naruto gasped, pushing back against the fingers. He was painfully hard now, and desperate for the cock ring to come off. "T-take it off, pl-please, take it o-off!"

"Not yet," Sasuke whispered, kissing along his jaw. "Soon, I promise."

Naruto groaned, throwing an arm over his eyes. He couldn't take this torture, Sasuke either had to take off the cock ring soon or get inside of him ASAP. He voiced this to the raven, making him chuckle.

"Fine, have it your way," he murmured. He removed his fingers, lubed his cock up, and slid inside the blonde. Both of them groaned, and Naruto arched his back and Sasuke sunk his teeth into the tan neck before him, marking his property possessively.

"Move! D-damn it, Sasuke-sama, move!" Naruto demanded, rolling his hips to encourage his statement.

Sasuke groaned quietly and nodded, immediately beginning to thrust hard and fast. Naruto cried his name out, pushing his hips up to meet Sasuke's thrusts, and sucking on the raven's neck. He left bite mark after bite mark on the pale column, moving down to his collarbone only when he felt his neck had been sufficiently marked. Just because he was uke didn't mean he wasn't as possessive as Sasuke was at times.

The headboard banged loudly against the wall and small cracks were beginning to appear, but neither cared. Both were too bent on finding their release to notice anything but the other.

Finally, _finally_, a pale hand snaked down between the two wildly thrusting bodies, and Sasuke took the cock ring off. Almost at once, Naruto came, screaming out his boyfriend's name. With a shudder and rather loud cry, Sasuke followed suit. He collapsed on top of his boyfriend and tossed the cock ring on the floor. Naruto yawned and rubbed his cheek against Sasuke's, mumbling incoherently.

"...That was great," he finally managed to get out.

"Mm... perfect," Sasuke agreed. For a moment, a comfortable silence stretched between the two, before Sasuke said with a smirk, "So, dobe... ready for another round?"

"Huh? What – no! Bastard, get your fingers out of there!"

"Naruto, that's not my name."

"Teme, I mean it-"

"I just told you, that's not my name, dobe... Now let's see, where did that cock ring go...?"


	7. Cockiness Broke the Bed

**Chapter 7! Finally! I'm sorry it took so long - but there's two lemons in this one, so I hope that makes up for it!**

* * *

_"Naruto will give Sasuke one strip tease or 'show' during one session of sex. Valid one night only."_

* * *

"Ngh... Sasuke!"

Sasuke blinked blearily, unsure of what had woken him up. He was pissed at whatever it was because he had been right in the middle of a very pleasant dream that involved him and Naruto moving to a private island where they had sex all the time, and nothing and no one interrupted them. Of course, the dream also consisted of him and the dobe in the middle of sex, making him more pissed. He sat up and looked to where Naruto lay, then felt his mouth go dry.

Naruto had climbed out of his arms at some point and was writhing on the bed, hands twisted in the sheets. A light sheen of sweat covered the blonde's naked body. He panted in his sleep as the ground his hips into the bed desperately, searching frantically for his release. He moaned his boyfriend's name again, louder, making Little Sasuke rise in interest.

Oh. Quite an interesting turn of events.

Sasuke, unable to just sit and watch any longer, crawled over and flipped the blonde over before straddling him. He smirked, placed his hands on either side of Naruto's head, and leaned down to breath into his ear.

"_Naruto_."

His voice was laced with pure lust, raw need, carnal desire. It stirred Naruto from his sleep slightly. He groaned groggily, not entirely comprehending what was happening. Sasuke's smirked returned as he poked his tongue out and licked the shell of Naruto's ear. The smaller man groaned and opened his still hazy bright blue eyes.

"S-Sas?" he whimpered.

"You were having a very naughty dream just now, Naruto, weren't you?" Sasuke purred, slipping a hand down to caress the blonde's crotch. Said blonde moaned quietly and flushed bright red, looking away from the raven.

"Hm? Nothing to say?" Sasuke said, slinking down his boyfriend's body. He placed kisses along his neck, collarbone, and chest, taking his time. "I heard you moan my name, sounding so wanton... Grinding into the bed, trying to come, _needing_ to come so bad... What was I doing to you that got you so excited, Naru?"

Still nothing. The blue eyed man turned his head to the side, still bright red, and refused to look up at Sasuke. With every word that poured from his mouth, Naruto grew redder, more mortified, and, though he'd never admit it, harder.

"Was I sucking you off? Letting you fuck my mouth?" Sasuke continued. "Or was I touching you... _here_?"

His fingers ghosted down over Naruto's entrance. He hadn't noticed during his embarrassing, naughty little speech that Sasuke had some how managed to coat his fingers in lube. The raven slipped one in the blonde's hole, watching intently as the tight heat swallowed the digit up. However, when the blonde let out a strangled moan, his eyes flickered back up. The sight did not disappoint. Naruto had his head thrown back, eyes shut firmly, mouth open and forming words Sasuke couldn't hear. He loved the sight of his dobe in the throes of pleasure.

"Was I touching you here, Naruto?" he repeated, continuing his rant and slipping in a second finger. "Was I stretching your tight little hole? Thrusting them in and out, teasing you? Was I rimming you? I know how much you love that. Or was it with my cock?"

The blonde groaned quietly in defeat, then nodded, pushing back against the fingers.

"What was that? I didn't hear you, dobe-chan," Sasuke purred.

"Yes!" he hissed back finally. "God, s-so fast, and ha-hard... with y-your cock, th-that huge, long, m-monstrous cock that ke-keeps thrusting in a-and out of my – _**aah!**__ Sasuke!__"_

Hearing Naruto actually saying the words set Sasuke off. He tore his fingers from the winking entrance and shoved himself inside, which prompted the blonde's scream of pure, unadulterated lust, raw need. It turned him on even more than he thought possible, and, after briefly checking that his blonde was okay, he began pounding into the littler man.

Naruto moaned loudly and even screamed on occasion. His most frequent word was usually Sasuke's name, which pleased the raven and made him harder. He thrust harder and harder each time, making the cracks in the wall from last night longer and deeper. The bed began creaking in protest, but neither cared – they never did, especially when not when they got this rough.

The bed got louder as its two occupants did. They were both right on the edge of climax, so, so close, when a near thundering crack broke through the screams and moans in the room and the legs of the couple's king sized bed gave out after nearly a year. It fell to the floor with a loud bang, but it didn't stop either of the young men. Naruto came right as the bed hit the floor, and Sasuke let go barely a few seconds after.

They laid there, panting, for a quiet minute, before Naruto started chuckling. The sound steadily grew louder and louder until he was clutches his sides, he was laughing so hard. Sasuke scowled, not getting what was so funny.

"Dobe! It's not funny! The bed's broken, we can't have sex on a broken bed!" he snapped irritatedly.

"Are you kidding? It's fucking hilarious!" Naruto howled. "We broke the bed! That's _rich_!"

Sasuke still scowled, not seeing the humor in the situation whatsoever. "Shut it, dobe. We're getting a new bed today."

Naruto shook his head, quieting down finally. "No, I'm going to visit the old hag today. You'll have to go by yourself. Don't pick out something tacky or over the top because-"

"Dobe, first of all, why the hell would I pick something tacky? I'm an _Uchiha_, and _Uchiha's_ have _taste_. Second, I'm not buying anything orange because I know that's your idea of good taste, although it _isn't_. Third, no way in hell am I going furniture shopping on my day off."

Sasuke went furniture shopping on his day off. He (obviously) would have been wearing a scowl the entire time – would have, that is, if Naruto hadn't made a deal with him. If he liked the bed the raven picked out, then he promised Sasuke that he would suck him off again. Sasuke was so excited he insisted that they "celebrate" (though the blonde had no idea what they were celebrating), and they ended up having sex in the shower. So, instead of a patented Uchiha scowl, he wore instead a cool smirk as he sauntered into the store.

"Good morning! My name is Ino, can I help you with anything?"

The scowl quickly returned as he rounded on the girl that had spoken. She was blonde and blued eyed, like his dobe, but Sasuke found her to be even more annoying already. Her face was flushed a light pink and her eyes shone as she looked Sasuke not so subtly up and down. She tugged on the hem of her shirt to show of more cleavage from her larger than average chest. 'Can you say implants?' Sasuke thought with a snort. That was why he hated women – they were too squishy.

"No," he replied curtly, turning around and going in search of the beds.

"Are you sure, sir?" she said, hurrying after him. "Whatever you need, I can-"

"I need to find a bed, but I'm perfectly capable of-"

"A bed! Right this way!"

Before he could say anything else, the girl snatched his wrist and began to drag Sasuke away, blabbering about something or other. He scowled and tried to pull away, but the girl was damn strong (and adamant). She pulled him up the stairs and into a long aisle of beds on either side.

"What size? Queen? King?" she questioned, pointing at headboards and frames randomly. He snatched his hand away from her and surveyed the stock. He stopped in front of a simple queen sized frame and headboard. It was all black metal and the headboard had vertical bars, which made it perfect for attaching Naruto to it with handcuffs. He smirked. Yes, it would be perfect.

"So why do you need a new bed? Did your girlfriend kick you out? Need to get something new for your new apartment?" Ino pressed.

"No," he replied. "My boyfriend and I broke it having wild animal sex."

With that, he left the blonde girl there, heartbroken, and went to purchase their new bed.

* * *

Naruto was gone all day, but that gave Sasuke plenty of time to have the bed delivered and set up. He even set the mattress on it himself and made the bed with the blue silk sheets they both loved – Naruto because of their feel, Sasuke because they remained him of his dobe's eyes.

He waited impatiently for said dobe to come home. He was eager to get started, and time wasn't cooperating – it was moving far too slowly for his taste. Finally, after an agonizing two hours, he heard the front door open. He hurried out the bedroom in nothing but his (and, again, Naruto's) favorite black silk boxers.

Sasuke smirked when he landed downstairs silently behind Naruto and twirled the small black chiffon scarf in his hands. He quickly lifted it up over Naruto head and tied it around his eyes.

"Ah! What the hell?" he exclaimed, flailing his arms to try to get his attacker off.

"She... We're going to have to break in the new bed, aren't we?" Sasuke purred, sucking on one of his dobe's ear lobes. Said dobe's breath hitched and he groaned quietly.

"We j-just did it this morning, teme!" he said, trying to sound angry. It was hard to do, though, when Sasuke had migrated down and began sucking on his neck with vigor.

"That was then, this is now," Sasuke replied with a smirk. "Now shut up, you'll like this."

"Always Mr. Romance, ne, Sasuke?"

The raven rolled his eyes, completely unsurprised that his dobe chose a time like this to be a smart ass. He leaned down to continue sucking on the tan column before him.

"...But you caught me in a... playful... mood, teme," the blonde continued. He leaned down to whisper into Sasuke's ear, "I might even agree to using the strip-tease coupon. I _love_ giving you a show. And I know how much you love watching me."

Sasuke groaned. He had planned to use one of the tamer coupons – the one for the vibrator – but if the little blond was so fucking willing, who was Sasuke to deny him?

Sasuke hurriedly scooped the blonde up in his arms, making him yelp, and took the stairs two at a time. Naruto slid his arms around the raven's neck and contented himself with sucking on it. Sasuke's steps faltered and he almost tripped, but he managed to catch himself and ran for the bedroom. He slammed the door shut behind them and tossed his boyfriend rather haphazardly onto the bed.

"Mm," Naruto murmured, running his hands along the sheets. "You put the silk ones on."

"I know you love them," the raven growled, stalking towards the lithe man on the bed. He got on all fours, hovering over the blonde, and leered down at him. Naruto squirmed, unhappy nothing was going on, and decided to take matters into his own hands. He tore off the blindfold, much to Sasuke's displeasure.

"Dobe-" he began warningly. Naruto silenced him with a quick kiss.

"If you want a show, we're doing it my way," he replied in a low voice. He licked the raven's lips before drawing flipping them over so he straddled his boyfriend. The smaller man rocked their hips together and threw his head back, moaning. Sasuke answered with a groan of his own, clamping his hand onto the blonde's hips and thrusting up to meet his movements.

After a few moments of this, the blue eyed boy grew bored and drew back to the foot of the bed. Sasuke at once tried to follow him, but Naruto shook his head.

"I told you, we're doing it my way if you want a show," he chastised. Sasuke _didn't_ pout as he fell back against the pillows.

Naruto peeled off the (hideous, in Sasuke's opinion) orange shirt and let it fall onto the floor. He then snaked a hand down, unbuttoned his pants, and slipped the hand into his boxers. The blonde groaned quietly, letting his other hand glide up his chest and rolled and pinched one of his dusty nipples. As he started pumping himself unhurriedly, the small nub in his hand quickly grew pebbled and he switched to the other one.

His tan hand retreated reluctantly from his boxers after a moment and he wiggled out of them and his jeans. He sighed in relief, then resumed stroking himself; Sasuke hadn't noticed, but his hand had entered his own silk underwear and he, too, was stroking himself. Watching his incredibly sexy, gorgeous uke playing with himself like he was made him harder than ever. He groaned loudly, letting the blonde know just how much he was enjoying his show so far.

Naruto cracked open a single blue eye and smirked slightly. Ah, so Sasuke did like this. Excellent. He decided then that it was time to take his little show up a notch. That being said, he brought his free hand up to his mouth and sucked on his fingers lewdly.

'Oh God,' Sasuke thought, 'he's not going to... is he?'

He did. Naruto, after sufficiently coating three of his fingers, trailed them down his lean body and pressed two into his tight hole. He let out a long groan of the Uchiha's name and immediately started pumping them in and out rhythmically. Sasuke growled, lunging forward and tugging his hand away.

"H-hey! Bastard, I wasn't done yet! The one time I try to do something k-kinky-" The word alone made him flush bright red. "-for you and you make me stop-!"

"Do you see what you did to me?" Sasuke growled, shoving the blonde's hand to his crotch. "Jesus, dobe, I've _never_ seen something so fucking sexy – _God_, Naruto!"

With that, Sasuke finally crushed their mouths together fiercely. It was nothing more than a mess of teeth and tongue, and they missed more than they met, but neither of them carried as they tumbled back onto the sheets. Sasuke easily rolled them over so that he was on top, then quickly shoved himself into his boyfriend.

Naruto screamed as Sasuke immediately set up a rough, impossibly fast pace, pounding into him over and over again. His big blue eyes rolled back and his spine arched. His legs gripped Sasuke's waist tightly as he clawed at the raven's back. This was what he wanted, what he needed more than anything. The new headboard banged on the wall, creating even larger cracks. Small pieces of plaster began falling of the wall – not that either of the bed's occupants cared.

Sasuke bit down harshly at the spot where Naruto's neck met his shoulder, creating a large dark purple mark. He fisted the blonde clumsily and groaned as Naruto came, causing his walls to tighten drastically around his cock. With a loud howl of his lover's name, he gave into the throes of pleasure and collapsed onto the sticky mess on the blonde's chest.

"Fucking _fantastic_," he panted finally, giving his uke a sloppy kiss. "God, perfect, Naruto."

"Yeah, I am," he replied breathlessly. The Uchiha rolled his eyes and nipped warningly at his ear.

"Don't get too cocky," he mumbled.

"Mm... I thought you liked that, when I get _cocky_?" his dobe purred, slowly sliding a hand down to grasp the older man's dick. Sasuke groaned. Maybe Naruto's _cockiness_ wasn't that bad after all.

**Teehee :) I just couldn't help myself with that last little bit.**


	8. Kick Ass Lee, Fine Ass Naruto

**PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR NOT UPDATING FOR SO LONG! You can all beat me with sticks if you wish. I'm not crazy about this chapter, but I wanted to get something out. Please check out the poll on my profile regarding this story! :D**

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_"Sasuke may use one sex toy of his choosing on Naruto. Valid one night only."_

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"Teme, I'll be fine! It's just grocery shopping! Really!" Naruto pouted. He loved it when Sasuke got protective, he would admit, but sometimes it was too much. Like now – Sasuke's father was having some important luncheon for the company, and the raven had to go. But at the same time, they were extremely low on food, and Naruto had to go grocery shopping. Sasuke didn't like the idea of his little blonde out in public by himself; strange men usually took to groping his uke, and he always had to be there to put them in their place. If Sasuke wasn't there... he didn't want to think of what could happen.

"Naruto, I don't want perverts grabbing your ass and I'm not there to beat the shit out of them," Sasuke growled, straightening his tie in the mirror. "You can just wait until I get back and we'll go together. End of discussion."

Naruto bristled._ "End of discussion?"_ Who the hell was he to talk to Naruto like that? He couldn't just tell him what to do like that! It was then the little blonde decided that, whether or not Sasuke liked it, he was going. It was just the fucking grocery store! It wasn't like he was going to his brother's club alone (something he never wanted to do without Kyuubi or Sasuke again – the last time he'd been there alone he had been drugged and almost kidnapped, but Kyuubi had got there before anything could happen)... But that was totally different than this!

"I'll be back around four," Sasuke said shortly, kissing the blonde's cheek. "Love you, dobe."

"Teme," Naruto mumbled back. Sasuke sighed, then left the bathroom.

Naruto pouted for a while longer before deciding to head out. Screw what Sasuke said. He could take care of himself. It was just the grocery store, for the love of God! Naruto was pissed that Sasuke thought him too incompetent to just go buy some food.

He arrived shortly thereafter, contemplating cutting Sasuke off of sex for a few days, and took a cart. He was almost done with his shopping, only a few aisles from checkout, when his path was blocked by a very creepy looking man. He was deathly pale, paler than Sasuke, and he had long black hair that fell in curtains around his face. The smirk that curled his lips and the look in his yellow eyes could only be described as predatory.

"My my my," he murmured, his words fluid. "You're an awfully pretty boy to be here all by yourself."

Naruto growled. "I'm a _man_, dammit! Men aren't pretty!" he yelled furiously.

"Hm. You can say that all you want, but it will not change my thoughts. As a matter of fact, I believe you're one of the prettiest ukes I've met."

"How the hell can you just assume that I'm an uke? How to you even know that I'm gay? Huh? Answer that, bastard!"

"Please. With an ass like yours there's no way you _can't_ be gay."

Naruto's face flushed and he sputtered indignantly at the snake like man. When the blonde only continued to make incoherent noises, he reached around and moved to pinch Naruto's ass. By then, however, he'd gained his senses enough to jump back.

"Bastard!" he yelped. "Don't touch me!"

"It's very hard not to, pretty one," the pervert crooned. He slid his lanky arms around Naruto, his hands resting on the swell of his ass, and leaned down to kiss him. Before he could, however, someone grabbed him from behind and tossed him to the ground next to Naruto's cart.

"Naruto doesn't need your youth!" Lee screamed, kicking wildly at the snake man. His head banged against the floor with a loud 'thud' and he was rendered unconscious. Lee, however, continued in his kicking.

"Lee! Lee, he's out cold!" Naruto exclaimed, grabbing his friend's arm. Lee stopped, panting, then looked over to Naruto with wide (wider than usual, that is) eyes.

"Naruto, my friend! Are you alright?" he asked worriedly.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Just kinda pissed that Sasuke was right," Naruto mumbled, rubbing the back of h is neck.

"What's that, comrade?"

"Nothing, Lee. Uh, thanks for... well, kicking his ass."

"It was no problem, Naruto!" he replied energetically. "I must be going, though, if you are sure you are fine?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. See ya later, Lee."

"Goodbye, youthful friend of mine!"

Naruto sighed, nudging the snake man's side with his toe. Sasuke was going to be pissed if he found out about this... which just meant that the raven couldn't – and, furthermore, _wouldn't_ – find out.

"Dobe, get down here!"

Naruto frowned. Sasuke was back early, and he sounded majorly pissed off. Had the luncheon gone that badly? If it had, then that wasn't a reason for Sasuke to be mad at him. Unless Sasuke had found out about-

"Sakura called and told me what happened at the market! Come here _now_."

The blonde winced, briefly contemplated hiding, and then sighed. That would just piss his boyfriend off more, which he supposed he didn't want. Slowly, he left the bedroom and walked downstairs to his certain death.

Sasuke was at the foot of the staircase, tearing his tie off with a furious growl, his suit jacket and shoes already on the floor. Naruto hesitated, but it was too late. Sasuke had already caught sight of him.

"I told you not to go without me!" he exclaimed, pointing a finger accusingly at his boyfriend. "I told you, Naruto, I told you this would happen, and I had to find out from Sakura that Lee, fucking _Lee_ of all people, had to save you from some pervert! Dammit, Naruto, what if something had happened to you?" His voice grew quieter. He refused to meet Naruto's eye, turning around and running a hand through his hair. "What if I lost you, huh, dobe?"

Naruto stilled. Sasuke didn't talk about this with him often, if at all. He thought the raven was uncomfortable with talking about their relationship, and he was right, which was why he was so surprised.

"Teme," he muttered, hugging the raven tightly. Sasuke sighed, wrapping his arms around the blonde. Naruto knew then all was forgiven.

Another week passed without incident. Sasuke took a few days off of work to be with Naruto, since he was still a little on edge about what had happened. He also, however, believed his blonde needed to be punished for not listening. Yes, yes, now to just figure out a suitable punishment...

Naruto was seriously getting tired of waking up to find himself tied to the bed and blindfolded, this time already with a cock ring snapped around the base of a sizable erection. He growled irritatedly.

"Ah ah ah... if you snap at me, Naru, I'll just have to punish you, now won't I?"

"I hate you."

"I don't think that's true, dobe," Sasuke purred. Naruto felt the bed shift, then Sasuke climb on all fours towards him, until finally the raven hovered over him. "I think you like playing games with me."

"You tied me to the fucking bed. I don't think this is a game, Sasuke."  
"You got one part of that right," Sasuke said with a smirk, leaning down to nibble on the sensitive spot below Naruto's ear. He gasped and tilted his head to the side, giving the raven more room.

"W-what's that?"

"_Fucking_."

Naruto almost snorted; it was a pun he would have made, but not one he really expected from his boyfriend. Then again... Sasuke _was_ pretty sex crazed.

Sasuke moved down the blonde's naked body, licking and nibbling as he went. He spent some time paying attention to his dusky nipples, knowing that they were extra sensitive. He quickly grew bored, however, and continued down his dobe's body. The soft mewls and moans Naruto was emitting were driving him crazy, and he briefly contemplated picking up the pace a bit. But it was too much fun to torture Naruto like this, and besides, he had the dobe _tied to the bed_. He wasn't passing the opportunity up.

"Hm... what's this, Naru-chan?" Sasuke asked mock curiously, sliding a long finger up Naruto's erection. He shuddered, biting his lip to suppress a moan. "It looks uncomfortable. Do you want me to help you?" Naruto nodded eagerly. "What's that? I couldn't hear you."

Naruto groaned, letting his head fall back. "P-please, Sasu... I want – I want you to suck me off. Please!"

"Hm... since you asked so nicely, I guess I can do this one thing for you..."

With a smirk still curling the corners of his lips, the raven leaned down and engulfed the dobe's boner. Naruto moaned loudly, arching off the bed as far as the restraints would allow him, trying to press himself further into the warm mouth. He stayed there for only a minute, though, before quickly pulling off. Naruto groaned out his complaint, but it went unnoticed. Sasuke quieted him with a quick kiss, then rummaged around through the nightstand.

"W-what are y-you lo-looking for?" Naruto stuttered.

"Mm... we need a special toy for our game, Naru-chan."

"Sasuke, I don't-"

"Now Naruto, you now how much I love the noises you make. It would be a shame to have to gag you."

A mumbled "teme" was the only response. Sasuke gave a throaty chuckle, pulling two things out of the drawer – lube and a long, dark dildo. Naruto would have flipped if he'd seen it – hence the blindfold. Plus, it just made things more fun.

"I swear to God, Sasuke, if you think you're going to – going to stick a vibrator or something in me-" Naruto began, no real threat in his voice.

"But Naruto, doesn't that sound like fun?" Sasuke whispered, slinking back down the blonde's muscled body. "You'd have the toy in you, buzzing and rubbing against your prostate just right, and you'd fuck yourself up and down on it... All the while knowing I was watching you, touching myself, telling you just how hot you look doing it... And if you were good, I'd take the cock ring off and let you rub yourself against me, maybe even let you come. Then I'd take the toy out of you and give you the real thing, let my cum fill your tight little ass. Perhaps I'd even let you come a second time. Wouldn't you like that?"

Naruto, during Sasuke's erotic little speech, had been completely reduced to a pile of incoherent mush, moaning and writhing at the raven's words.

"Yes! Please, I want that!" he groaned, squirming. With a smirk, Sasuke lubed up two fingers, briefly stretched the blonde, then lubed up the dildo and slid it into Naruto.

"Not as long as me, or as wide... but it's still big enough," Sasuke said in a murmur, watching in delight as Naruto's hole greedily sucked the toy in. The blonde writhed, moaned, and groaned, frantically twisting to impale himself on the toy.

"You're already acting like such a selfish little whore. I haven't even turned it on yet, Naru," purred the raven, smirking happily. God, Naruto was so responsive. It just made him want to do so many very naughty things to the blonde. It was good they had the whole night ahead of them.

Sasuke wiggled the the toy until it pushed against Naruto's prostate, then flicked the toy immediately to the highest setting. His dobe immediately screamed, squirming and twisting desperately to fuck himself on the toy. It was even better than he thought it was going to be.

With a satisfied smirk, Sasuke sat back at the foot of the bed, languidly stroking his own cock. He watched with dark, hungry eyes as Naruto groaned and shouted, raised and lowered his hips quickly, frantically bouncing up and down on the toy. This was even better than having Naruto dress up as a neko. He watched his blonde screw himself on the toy for almost five long minutes until he was sobbing in pleasure/pain.

"S-Sasuke-sama!" he wailed. "Pl-please! I want – I wanna co-come s-so bad! Ugh, p-please!"

How could the raven say no when he had asked so nicely, calling him "Sasuke-sama" and everything? He wasn't one to deny. He leaned up, unsnapping the cock ring and tossing it to the floor. Instantly, Naruto came with a shout of the Uchiha's name. It was the most intense orgasm of his life, and he blacked out from the sheer overload of pleasure coursing through him.

When he came to, the blindfold was gone and Sasuke was hovering over him. He looked torn between joy, satisfaction, and concern.

"I've never made you pass out before," he said quietly. "Are you okay?"

"Oh my _God_," Naruto rasped, voice hoarse from screaming. "Sasuke, that was – that was – holy shit, we're keeping that thing."

Sasuke chuckled, a large smirk adorning his face. "I was hoping you would say that." Naruto just nodded sleepily, yawning widely. "We might have to save the violent fucking I planned for you for later," he continued, untying the blonde's wrists. He snaked his arms up around his boyfriend's neck, pulling the Uchiha down for a kiss.

"Mm...," he mumbled, pulling away and stretching his arms over his head.. "No. You haven't even gotten off. Just give me a minute, I'll be ready."

He nudged the raven's shoulder and arranged him on the pillows. He crawled down his boyfriend's body, kissing lightly as he went, then swallowed Sasuke whole. The Uchiha groaned, burying his fingers in the sunshine yellow locks.

"Good boy," he whispered, stroking his hair.

Naruto hollowed his cheeks and sucked, rubbing his reawakened erection with one hand. It didn't take long for Sasuke to come, to neither man's surprise. Sasuke was quick to roll the younger man over as soon as he had recovered and kissed him senseless. They rocked against each other, sharing simple kisses, until Sasuke grabbed the lube again and spread it over his erection. Without missing a beat, he thrust into the lithe man below him, glad the dildo had already stretched him.

Naruto moaned eagerly, wrapping his long tan legs around Sasuke and pulling him down for another kiss. He met each thrust with one of his own, but he knew he wasn't going to last long. The first orgasm had taken a lot out of him, and with Sasuke hitting his prostate each time like that and stroking him so firmly-

With a garbled scream of Sasuke's name, Naruto came again, spurting his jizz on his chest and Sasuke's. The Uchiha groaned and gave a few jerky thrusts before spilling his load into Naruto's hole.

They laid together in a tangled pile of limbs afterward. Naruto had his head resting on Sasuke's chest, while the raven stroked his sweat soaked hair.

"That was amazing," Naruto whispered, blue eyes turning to the dildo resting on the other side of the bed. "That's going to be so much fun when you have to go on business trips. It'll be a helluva lot better than just masturbating."

"We'll be having a lot more web cam chats if that's the case," Sasuke replied.

Naruto didn't think that was a bad idea at all.

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**Again, please please please go to my profile and answer my poll! It'll only take a few seconds!**


	9. The Intervention of the Fucking Machine

**I'm super proud of this chapter! 5,000 words! :D Plus I think it's the best chapter so far, if I do say so myself. Tell me what you think! Review please! Oh, and if you haven't checked out the poll on my profile please do! It won't take you long!**

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_"Naruto and Sasuke may engage in one role play game during sex. Valid one night only."_

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The next morning, after a refreshing round of shower sex, Sasuke was very unhappy to find out that Sakura and Lee had decided to drop by. He was so close to convincing Naruto to go another round on the kitchen table. _So_ close! He couldn't be too upset, though, because even if Lee was a freak, he did save Naruto from the damn grocery store pervert. He could put up with him for a half hour or so because of that, he supposed.

"Naruto, you sound like you're loosing your voice," Sakura frowned, setting a bowl of ramen in front of him. She rested a hand against his forehead. "Are you ill?"

"N-no!" Naruto stuttered, quickly swatting her hand away. "I'm fine, Sakura-chan, really."

"Are you sure? Are you wearing a jacket when you go out? It's still so cold out, the coldest January we've had in years-"

"Sakura, he isn't sick," Sasuke interrupted.

The pinkette bristled. She was a nurse, damn it, she knew when people were sick! "Sasuke-kun, don't take this the wrong way, but I've been to medical school and I-"

"I know he isn't sick," Sasuke repeated. "Trust me. It's all the screaming."

"Screaming... why – Sasuke!" Sakura whacked the back of the raven's head harshly. "You are obsessed with sex! Lay off of him for once! He isn't a fucking machine you can use-"

"You're right, for once. _I'm_ the fucking machine here."

"Ugh!" Sakura yelled, smacking his head again. "You're hopeless. Hopeless!"

"Now now, my youthful maiden," Lee began in a happy, soothing tone. "Let us all join hands and form a calming circle!"

He tried to grab her hand and Sasuke's, but both of them pushed him away and turned back to each other to start yelling again.

"You treat him like he's just there for sex-!"

"You have no idea what the hell you're talking about! I fucking love him-!"

Naruto shook his head and happily slurped up the ramen, blocking out the sound of the fight. This happened once every month or so. Sakura would try to convince Sasuke to back off having sex with him for a while and focus on the less physical aspects of the relationship, and Sasuke would yell back that he loved Naruto's ass just as much as he loved the rest of him. After the argument (or sometimes during), Sasuke would drag Naruto into the nearest bedroom, lock the door, and screw his brains out repeatedly.

Lee was in between Sakura and Sasuke, trying to break them apart and convince them to start the damn calming circle, but neither of them were listening. Finally, when he was pushed out of the way, he sat on the floor and started some strange mantra, no doubt one to bring a sense of calm or something.

"Fine! Be that way!" Sakura finally snapped. "Come on, Lee, we're leaving!"

Sasuke growled, pulling Naruto up. "Come on, Naruto, we're having sex!"

"Wh-? Sasuke! I'm not done with my ramen! _Sasuke_!"

"I really don't think this is a good idea, Sakura-chan!"

"You're too close to him, and it blinds you of the problem. Now shut up. I think he's here."

Sasuke groaned quietly. Great. Sakura was over. He had had a long, hard day at the office, having to deal with people that were stupider than usual, and all he wanted was his dobe. Obviously, that wasn't going to happen. He hesitantly walked into the living room and froze.

There were people everywhere. Lee, Kiba, Naruto, and Shikamaru were stuffed onto the couch, Itachi and Deidara were on the love seat, Kisame and Sasori were in the recliner, Temari and Kankuro were in a corner bickering, Neji had a red faced Gaara pressed against the wall and was devouring his lips, and Sakura herself stood in the middle of the room, behind the coffee table. She had her hands on her hips, and Sasuke knew that this wasn't going to be good at all.

"Sasuke," she said in a business like tone. "This is an intervention."

Sasuke stood there for a second, blinked, and finally said, "...Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No, Sasuke. We're all here because we're concerned about your sex addiction."

"No we're not," Sasori said bluntly, ignoring Sakura's death glare. "She told us it was a promotion for Deidara's shop. I wanted free stuff. I've yet to get any."

Kisame nodded eagerly. "Yeah. We need some new toys!"

"Shut _up_, Fish-Face!"

"Un! We just got some new whips-!"

"Deidara, I want a new whip, ours is so old-!"

"Shika, buy me new handcuffs! I want new handcuffs!"

"No. Too troublesome... No, wait. I will if I can use the dog collar and leash."

"...Deal!"

"Everybody shut up!" Sasuke roared. The room went silent and still. Temari and Kankuro stopped arguing, and even Neji pulled away from Gaara to look up at the raven. "And get the hell out of my apartment!"

"To Deidara's shop!" Kiba exclaimed happily. He pulled Shikamaru out the door by the hand.

"Let's go, little Scorpion," Kisame said with a smirk, pulling his boyfriend along.

"I told you to stop fucking calling me that!"

"The guest room's this way, Gaara," Neji said happily, dragging him down the hall. Temari and Kankuro stared after their little brother for a moment before leaving as well.

"Look, Itachi, un! Business is booming, yeah! Let's go!" Deidara said, eagerly bounding out of the apartment with the older Uchiha in tow. With everyone gone, Sasuke could see that his boyfriend had been duct taped to the couch during the entire ordeal. He growled and stalked over to him, carefully taking the tape off.

"You're fucking insane, Sakura," the raven growled, rubbing Naruto's red arms.

"He wouldn't cooperate," she said irritably. Sasuke sighed and kissed his boyfriend.

"I'm sorry she did that to you," he muttered. He then stood and rounded on Sakura. "You're fucking insane, Sakura."

"See? You can't even stop saying 'fucking'."

"Get the hell out." Sakura just stared at him with wide eyes, like she didn't understand. "Out!" he bellowed.

Sakura "humph"'d and folded her arms over her chest, making it clear she had no plans to go anywhere. Sasuke glared at her, a look she readily returned. They stayed like that for a long two or so minutes, before a flustered Sakura finally pulled Lee from the couch and snapped, "We're going. This is what I get for trying to help? Fine!"

She was still ranting when the apartment door slammed shut. Sasuke sighed, rubbing his temples.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke," Naruto said. Sasuke opened his mouth to tell him it wasn't his fault, but the blonde kept going. "I knew it was a bad idea, but Sakura-chan just kept going on and on about you being obsessed with sex and how I didn't have to deal with it because I deserved better and... I don't really mind that you're so sex-crazed." His face flushed. "I like it."

Sasuke smirked. This was interesting. "Oh? You do? What part do you like best, Naru?" He climbed onto the couch and straddled the smaller man. "Do you like it best when I shove my cock in your tight little ass? Or when I suck you off? When I finger you? When I rim you? I know how much you love to have my tongue pressed up into your pucker." As Sasuke spoke, he pulled off his shirt and a red faced Naruto's. He leaned down and laid kisses along the blonde's chest, speaking in between kisses. "Maybe it's when you get down on your knees and suck my cock like a whore? Hm? You're a good little cocksucker, aren't you, Naruto?"

Naruto moaned, redder than a tomato. Sasuke always knew just what to say, and just how to say it, to get him rock hard with no effort at all.

"Naruto, I asked you a question," Sasuke purred, rocking his hips slowly against Naruto's. The blonde gasped, rocking back eagerly. He still didn't answer, and Sasuke pulled his hips back so Naruto couldn't reach them. "Naruto..."

"Yes!" he whined, straining his hips to meet Sasuke's again. "Yes, Sasuke, I'm a good little cocksucker!"

"Hm... show me how good you are, Naruto."

"H-here?"

"Everyone's gone. Well, not Neji and Gaara... but they're a little _occupied_."

Right on cue after Sasuke's words came a yell of "Neji, fuck me harder, damn it! Harder!" from their guest room. Naruto's blush now trailed down his chest.

"I never knew Gaara would be so vocal in bed," he mumbled.

"Not as vocal as you," Sasuke said, sliding off Naruto. "Now come on. Show me how much you love to suck my cock."

Naruto climbed clumsily off the couch, getting on his knees before Sasuke. The raven unzipped his pants, then pulled them down just enough to let out his thick cock. The blonde's eagerness returned as he grasped it hard. He stroked it a few times before pressing a kiss to the tip and giving it a long lick. Sasuke groaned quietly, burying his hands in the sunshine yellow locks.

"Good... Naruto," Sasuke groaned. "Good boy..."

Naruto hummed around the raven's cock, making the Uchiha groan and thrust his hips forward. The blonde pulled off his cock and nipped at his hip bone in warning before moving down to suck Sasuke's balls into his mouth.

"D-dobe," Sasuke panted, tugging Naruto up reluctantly. "Come on. Bedroom. _Now_."

Naruto smirked happily as Sasuke picked him up bridal style and hurried them towards the bedroom. He must have been doing good; he hadn't even finished the raven off and he was already being moved into the bedroom.

He let out a huff as he was dumped onto the bed, but soon his mouth was occupied with Sasuke's. Their kisses were sloppy and uncoordinated, more tongue and teeth than anything, but neither man cared. Naruto groaned into the raven's mouth and slipped his arms around his pale neck, when abruptly Sasuke was sitting back on his haunches at the foot of the bed.

"Teme! What the hell?" Naruto yelled indignantly.

"Stay here," was all Sasuke said in reply. He glided elegantly over to the closet, and Naruto shamelessly ogled his still clad ass, thinking vaguely about how nice and firm it was, even covered by the pants. Sasuke turned around, unfortunately, and Naruto pouted a little. Sasuke smirked, but didn't comment.

"What's that?" Naruto said, eyeing the bag wearily. Last time the bag had been brought out... good things came out in the end, but he had lost some of his dignity in the process. "Damn it, Sasuke, I'm not putting on another neko cost-"

"It's not a neko costume," Sasuke promised. Naruto relaxed, but only slightly.

"Then what is it?"

Sasuke ignored the question. He sauntered back to the bed, placed the bag on the edge, then moved to the nightstand. He dug around in it for a moment and pulled out a small stack of rectangular paper. Naruto groaned, letting his head fall back. Nothing good was going to come of this, he just knew it...

"This," Sasuke said, waving a piece of paper at the blonde, "says that you and I will do a role play and I may choose-"

"Oh hell no, teme!" Naruto shrieked, scrambling away from the raven. "No way, nuh uh! I am not doing role play with you! I just know you picked like – like a – _something_ perverted and I'm not wearing it!"

"But Naruto, you promised," Sasuke purred. "An Uzumaki never breaks a promise, correct?"

Naruto groaned again. "I hate you, teme."

It was one thousand times worse than the neko costume. Scratch that, it was a billion times worse than the neko costume. Of course, Sasuke had to go and be a pervert. Why he couldn't pick something... well, something with a little more fabric. He hated the raven. He hated Deidara for supplying the raven with the fucking costume. Why the hell the older blonde would even think of selling something like this to Sasuke... He had to know it could only be used for evil!

It was a skirt. Sasuke had made him wear a goddamn skirt. Not just any skirt – that of a school girl. It was red plaid, and it barely covered his ass. A tight, white button down was stretched over his chest and tied a few inches above his belly button. He also had on thigh high white socks, held up by garters, as well as a pair of black Mary Janes (which had heels, mind you. Not high ones, but they were still heels none the less). To complete the look, Naruto had been instructed to pull his shaggy blonde hair up into two little pigtails. With the way the shirt was tied, coupled with the fact that his legs were so slim and slender, he could almost pass for a girl. A very flat chested girl, but a girl nonetheless.

"I'm going to kill him," Naruto mumbled to himself. He sighed, kicking at the floor a little, before hesitantly turning to the door. He reached his hand towards the knob, then stopped. He scowled and yanked the door open wide.

Sasuke was spread out on the bed, his hands behind his head. He had put on a pair of tight black boxer briefs, and a red tie was hanging loosely around his neck. Naruto scowled. He got it now – Sasuke was supposed to be the fucking principal or something. Egotistical bastard.

"Mm...," the raven purred, sitting up as Naruto pouted in the doorway of the bathroom. "Perfect. So sexy, Naruto. Now come here." Reluctantly, Naruto edged closer to the bed. He eyed the raven distrustfully as he continued in a low voice, "These are the rules, Naru. You will call me Sasuke-sama, Danna, or, of course, Master. When I give you an order, you will obey it and you will not hesitate to do so. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, whatever," Naruto mumbled, eyes locked firmly on the ground. Sasuke frowned and stood, crossing towards the blonde.

"That was no way to talk to your Danna, Naruto," he said dangerously. "Would you like to rephrase your response?"

Naruto sighed. "Yes, Danna, I understand."

"Much better. Now..." Sasuke schooled his expression into a calm, collected look. "Uzumaki, it has come to my attention that you are failing my course. Why is that, hm?"

Naruto shuffled his feet. Sasuke really wanted to do this? He felt so stupid! Reluctantly, he mumbled out, "I dunno, Sasuke-sama..."

Sasuke clicked his tongue, climbing from the bed. Naruto glanced up briefly, startled to notice that the raven still had a prominent bulge in the front of his boxers. He had lost his erection when he saw the skirt. He was tugged from these thoughts when the raven gripped his chin and forced the blonde to look at him.

"You seem distracted, Uzumaki," he whispered seductively. "Just like in class. Is this the problem?" Naruto caught on and nodded slowly. "Tell me, what is it that's distracting you, hm?"

"I – uh...," Naruto stuttered. He thought he knew where the raven was going, but he wasn't too sure... He took the chance. "It's you, Danna."

Yes, that definitely pleased Sasuke. He smirked and stroked his dobe's cheek. "Me, Uzumaki? I'm distracting you?"

"Y-yes, Danna. It's just – I, uh, I find you very... attractive...," Naruto mumbled. He was starting to forget the foolishness he felt before and was surprised to find that this was actually turning him on.

"You do?" Sasuke purred. His one hand continued stroking Naruto's cheek, and the other started to caress the blonde's side. He leaned in close to whisper into Naruto's ear. "It just so happens, _Uzumaki_, that I find you very attractive as well."

The younger man let out a low moan. "C-call me Naruto, Sasuke-sama."

"Alright, _Naruto_," Sasuke purred, the name rolling off his tongue, sounding like pure sin. "That's cleared up. But you're still failing my class... I suppose I can let you do some extra credit and bring your grade up, if you do well. What do you say, Naruto? Would you like that?"

"I'll do anything to boost my grade, Danna," Naruto said eagerly, falling more and more into the role.

"Anything?" Naruto nodded. "Alright then, Naruto... On your knees."

The blonde blinked in faux confusion. "Sasuke-sama?"

"You heard me, Naruto. Get down on your knees in front of me. Yes, good, like that... Now..." He tugged down his boxers, freeing his dripping, aching erection. "Make sure you do a good job, Naruto, and I'll consider raising your grade."

Naruto grasped the taller man's erection in one hand and hesitantly gave the head a long lick. Sasuke bit his lip to hold back a moan, his head lolled back, and his fingers tangled themselves once more into sunshine yellow locks. Now moving more boldly, Naruto began rolling the raven's balls in one hand as he slid his mouth down his shaft. He bobbed his head, sucking slowly at first, then moving more quickly. He stroked what he couldn't fit in his mouth with his free hand.

"Oh God, Naruto...!" he groaned, bucking his hips forward slightly. "You're such a good little cocksucker, Naru... Mm..."

Pleased with himself, the blonde slid his mouth even further down the raven's shaft, not stopping til the tip hit the very back of his throat. He hollowed his cheeks and resumed his fast-paced sucking. Sasuke knew he wasn't going to last long at all. Naruto gave one last suck before the raven came down his throat, calling out Naruto's name. He swallowed everything greedily. Pulling back and looking up at Sasuke with lidded eyes, he licked his lips. The Uchiha groaned and tugged the blonde up, kissing him hard on the lips. Naruto eagerly returned it, wrapping his arms around Sasuke's neck and grinding their crotches together. Sasuke quickly grew erect again, and he drew back from Naruto reluctantly. The smaller man whined, arching his body towards Sasuke's in an attempt for more contact. The raven chuckled and placed a finger over Naruto's lips.

"Sh... we are nowhere near done yet," he promised. Naruto groaned at the mere thought. "Now I want you to bend over the edge of the bed... Yes, just like that..." Sasuke brushed his fingers across the inside of the blonde's tan thighs, then trailed them up the plaid skirt. He raised an eyebrow and turned Naruto onto his back. "You didn't put the panties on, Naruto."

The smaller man's face flushed and he looked to the side. "They didn't fit me right, Sasuke-sama... they were too small."

"Tch. Dobe, they were supposed to be like that. Oh well. I'll just have to punish you now, won't I?"

"Wh-? No, Sasuke! What are you doing? Stop it!"

Sasuke sighed. "No. You were bad, Naru, very very bad. I have to punish you, now. If you're good, you can have a reward. But for now..."

He turned Naruto over again and pushed up the mini skirt. He raised a hand, then paused for a moment. A genuinely concerned look reached his face for a moment. If Naruto didn't take very kindly to being spanked... and he probably wouldn't... well, not only would Sasuke be on the couch for the rest of his life, but Naruto probably wouldn't trust him during sex anymore. But he was Sasuke Uchiha. He didn't hesitate or question anything, especially not his own actions. He raised the hand a little higher and brought it down with a _smack_ against Naruto's tight, tan ass.

And the dobe fucking **moaned**.

A patented Uchiha smirk grew across the raven's face. This was a very interesting revelation...

"You like that, Naruto?" he purred. "You like it when I spank that perfect little tan ass of yours?"

The blonde groaned and wiggled, raising said perfect ass higher in the hopes that Sasuke would spank him again. At the same time, though, a blush spread over his cheeks and he buried his face in the blankets.

"Y-yes, Sasuke-sama," he panted. "I like it."

"Mm... good to now. I want you to count them now. Don't lose count or we'll just have to start all over. Got it?"

"Yes, Sasuke-sama."

Sasuke raised his hand once more and began to slap Naruto's ass. True to his word, Naruto didn't miss a single count. Sasuke went all the way up to twenty-two, one for each year of the blonde's life, and he vaguely thought that it was something they needed to start doing on Naruto's birthday. By the end of the whole deal, Naruto's ass was a bright, rosy red.

"T-twenty-one! Ah! Twen – twenty-two!" Naruto finally called out. He shivered, sinking further into Sasuke's lap as the blows finally finished.

"Good boy, Naru," Sasuke praised. "You didn't miss a single one." He readjusted them so that Naruto was on his stomach and Sasuke was hovering over him. "I think that deserves a reward. Don't you?"

Naruto nodded eagerly, but Sasuke didn't do anything. He whined, turning to see what was holding up the reward.

"I didn't hear an answer, Naru," Sasuke said, rubbing his hand along the blonde's rear.

"Yes, Danna, please!" he wailed obediently. Sasuke smirked. He loved how easily his boyfriend let his pride crumble for Sasuke.

The raven slid down Naruto's tan body, stopping at his still red ass. He ran his tongue over the abused flesh, soothing the sharp sting of the slaps with kisses, nibbles, and licks. All the while, Naruto moaned and squirmed, pressing his ass up further. Sasuke quickly grow bored with the actions, though, and started thrusting his tongue in and out of the dobe's hole, mimicking actions they would later be talking part in.

"Ah! P-please, Sasuke-sama, I – I want y-you to – to-!"

"To what Naruto? Keep going and maybe I'll consider what you want."

"Please, Danna, fuck me!"

Sasuke chuckled, a low, deep sound from the very back of his throat. "Who am I to deny you anything, Naru? But..." He leaned down to whisper directly into Naruto's ear. "You have to prepare yourself."

"Wh-? B-but Sasuke-sama!"

"Do it, dobe."

Naruto groaned. Sasuke's voice, so full of dominance, so commanding. It turned him on even more. So, without complaint, he snatched the lube from the bedside table and coated three of his fingers in it. He reached a hand behind himself as Sasuke sat back to watch the show.

Naruto bit his lip, slipping a single finger into his hole. He moaned quietly and buried his face in the pillow. Quickly, he slipped in a second finger and started scissoring. It wasn't long before he was on his back, a third finger in alongside the first two as he fucked himself desperately on his own hand. Sasuke moaned quietly as the dobe called out his name. He tore off his boxers and snaked a hand down to start stroking his own erection while Naruto ground his against the bed.

"That's enough," Sasuke growled, pulling Naruto's hand away. The blonde groaned at the loss, but quickly turned on his stomach. Sasuke literally purred at the sight and quickly grabbed Naruto's hips. He raised them up, pushed the skirt out of his way, gave the exposed ass one last smack for good measure, then thrust inside in one go.

Naruto let out a loud, pleasured cry as Sasuke immediately set up a harsh pace. He mewled and moaned, pushing back against the thrusts eagerly. Sasuke, always the quieter one, let out a breathless groan in Naruto's ear as he angled himself to hit Naruto's prostate. The blonde screamed, overwhelmed by the pleasure. He snaked a hand down between his legs and clumsily began fisting himself, but Sasuke swatted away his hand.

"No, Naru," he panted. "Y-you're going to co-come from just the feeling of m-my cock in your ass. No touching. I'll h-have to deduct points from your final s-score."

Naruto whined unhappily but kept his hands obediently wrapped around a pillow. He was so close, he could feel his orgasm building up inside of him, and it was going to be intense. He wanted nothing more than to wrap a hand around his erection and fist him himself until he came, but he knew if he tried anything again Sasuke would tie his hand up, and he didn't want that. Instead, he reached around and pressed his lips against Sasuke's. The angle was awkward and pretty uncomfortable, but it was worth it.

The kiss was short lived, though, as Sasuke gave a particularly harsh thrust and Naruto released his mouth to cry out. He buried his face back in the pillow, his moans steadily growing louder. With one final jab against his prostate, he screamed out Sasuke's name and came over the bed sheets. The younger Uchiha swore as the already tight channel around his dick constricted even tighter. He struggled to hold Naruto up as he came, staining Naruto's walls with his seed. The raven sluggishly rolled them over, away from the cum on the other side of the large bed, and happily nuzzled Naruto's neck.

"That... nice...," the blonde mumbled, yawning widely.

"Mmhm...," agreed Sasuke, watching with blonde with tired amusement as he struggled to get the seed-stained top off. He chuckled lightly. "Dobe."

"'m not a dobe, teme," Naruto grumbled, his anger made more cute than anything in his sated state. Sasuke simply chuckled again, rolling away from the blonde and climbing off the bed. Naruto whined, reaching out for him blindly.

"Sh...," the raven whispered. He gathered Naruto up in his arms, smiling despite himself when the dobe flung his arms around his pale neck and nuzzled his chest. Sasuke took them into the bathroom and set Naruto down on the counter before sauntering in all his naked glory (well, aside from the tie that still hung around his neck) to the bathtub. He started the water, making sure it wasn't too hot or too cold, and added some of the bubbly shit that Naruto liked so much, because hey, the dobe had just worn a skirt and heels for him. Besides, Sasuke liked pampering his dobe.

He crossed back to Naruto, who seemed to be right on the verge of sleep. He tossed the tie off quickly and bent down to unbutton Naruto's top.

"Ngh, Sas... no more sex... tired...," the blonde mumbled. Sasuke smiled.

"No more sex tonight," he affirmed. "We're taking a bath."

"No... Too much work..."

Sasuke merely chuckled, ridding the blonde of his shirt and then the shoes, which made him sigh in relief. He then peeled the socks off and removed the skirt, leaving Naruto in his birthday suit. He took out the two hair ties, which were still barely in his sunshine locks, and then turned around to shut the water off. He scooped Naruto up once more and set him in the tub. With a quick kiss to the dobe's forehead, he turned to leave.

"Where ya goin', Sasuke?" Naruto asked, voice still slurred with sleep. "Stay with me."

"I'm going to change the sheets. I'll be right back."

Sasuke tore the dirty sheets off and left them in a pile on the floor, knowing he'd just get them tomorrow. He made the bed again as quickly as he could and hurried back into the bathroom.

Naruto was completely relaxed in the tub, a smile on his face and his head tossed back. Sasuke stopped in the bathroom doorway and smiled at the sight. He truly would do anything for the blonde because he loved him so much. He loved him more than anything, more than anyone in the world. He came off as a cold bastard, he knew that, but Naruto... something about the blonde made Sasuke want to do crazy romantic things, even little things like making the dobe ramen for breakfast even though Sasuke hated it. He didn't mind. He was in love. He wasn't addicted to sex – just to Naruto.

* * *

Sasuke was kind of OOC at the end... but Naruto makes him like that! Don't blame me!


	10. The King of Kinky Dethroned

**What the hell? Two updates in less than a week? *watches as readers all have heart attacks* Yes, people, this is a full length chapter update (another 5,000+ word chapter, mind you!) three days after my last one. I'm like fucking magic or something! There is a reason it's up so quick - I got a request from Soiku-grl to have this chapter up on her birthday (July 24th), and I did it! So happy 18th birthday Soiku-grl! Everyone go buy her spray paint! Soiku-grl, I give you, as a special b-day present - SasuNaru smut and yaoi joy! I hope you like it and I hope you have an awesome day!  
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**EDIT:: There is a NEW poll on my profile where YOU vote for the last coupon! I need everyone to participate in this one, please!  
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**_"Sasuke may use a vibrator on Naruto during sex. Valid one night only."_**  
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Sasuke was surprisingly tame with sex afterthe night they did role play. Their usual amount of sex actually decreased a little bit over the following month. Naruto didn't know what had gotten into his boyfriend, and he worried he was planning a huge jump on him or something. Like, maybe he had plans to tie him to the bed in the middle of the night (again) or something. But he didn't do anything, not even follow him into the shower in the morning. And that was strange.

"Sasu? Are you alright?"

Sasuke looked up and blinked. Naruto was frowning at him in concern, his head tilted to one side. He looked totally fuckable, and the raven had to bite back a groan at the sight.

"I'm fine," he said, turning back to his dinner (miso ramen, again) without another word.

"Are you sure? You've been so quiet lately, I'm worried about you. Having problems at work?"

"Um... actually I have a project coming up," Sasuke lied. If the dobe knew what was really bothering him... he'd be on the couch for eternity, he was sure of it. "A big project."

"Really? You haven't been spending much time at work. Usually when you have a big project you stay late and go in early and stuff." Damn Naruto for being observant!

"I – well, I'm working on it with Itachi, so I don't have the entire load on myself and I don't have to go in as much."

"Oh... that's good. I don't like it when you get so tense." Naruto stood and moved behind Sasuke. He placed his hands on the raven's shoulders, then leaned down to breathe seductively in Sasuke's ear, "Want a massage to help you relax?"

Sasuke sighed. What was the point if he couldn't come up with anything kinky? He was the _king_ of kinky. "Maybe later, dobe. I'm going to work on the project for a while."

With that, the Uchiha stood and left the kitchen, leaving his dinner untouched and his lover pouting. Sasuke never turned down sex, especially not when Naruto initiated it. _Never_. He crossed to the phone and dialed a familiar number, his pout sliding into a scowl he'd learned from his boyfriend.

"Hello?"

"Deidara? It's Naruto."

"Hey Naruto! What's up, un?"

"Can I talk to Itachi?"

The question was met with silence for a minute, before Deidara finally spoke. "I'm sorry, un...," he said slowly. "For a second, I thought you said you _wanted_ to talk to _Itachi_, yeah. Must've heard wrong, un."

"Um, no... I actually do want to talk to Itachi, Deidara. Please?"

"Alright, hang on," the other blonde said. It was silent on the other line for a moment, other than the murmur of two people talking, before a cold, though slightly bewildered voice questioned, "Hello?"

"Itachi, it's Naruto," he said unnecessarily. "Listen, I know me and you don't talk much, but I wanted to ask you a favor." He didn't even pause as he went on, "Look, I know whatever project you and Sasuke have going at work has to be super important or whatever, but Sasuke's really stressed about it and I'm kind of concerned that-"

"Hn. You have obviously been misinformed, Naruto. We are currently not working on any projects. In fact, there hasn't been much to work on at all lately."

The blonde blinked several times before speaking again. "...Huh? But Sasuke said... Oh, I'm confused."

"Would you like me to use smaller words?"

Naruto scowled once more. Itachi really wasn't a bad guy, but just like Sasuke, he could be quite condescending. "Put Deidara back on," he snapped.

"You're quite demanding. Are you like that in bed as well?"

Before he could say (yell) anything in response, he heard Deidara start screeching at him, including things along the lines of "Why the hell would you ask him that, un? It was practically a fucking pick-up line!" and "You're staying on the couch forever, un! Forever, you bastard! Yeah!". Then Deidara was back on the line.

"Yeah?" he said shortly.

"I think Sasuke's up to something."

"I'll be right there, Na – Itachi get the fuck off of me! I meant what I said, un! You're sleeping on the couch and_ I_ get the whole fucking bed for myself, un!" Then there was a thud and the line went dead. Naruto sighed and shook his head. His poor friend.

Fifteen minutes, a still slightly irate Deidara and Naruto were sitting at the kitchen table and sharing a gallon of rocky road ice cream.

"So," Deidara began wisely, "what's this about Sasuke, un? You think he's planning something, yeah?"

"Yeah," Naruto sighed, leaning back and running a hand through his hair. "I tried to get him into bed after dinner, and the one time it's _me_ trying he denies me! Gave me some bull shit about a project for work. First of all, that's never stopped him from laying me before! And second, Itachi said that there aren't any projects at work, and he and Sasuke certainly aren't working on one together! I can't believe he'd lie to me like that!" His blue eyes grew wide in sudden fear. "Do you think he wants to break up with me?"

"What? No way, un! Why do you say that?"

"I – I mean... He denied me sex, and we haven't been, you know, _doing_ _it_ as much lately. I think... what if he's getting tired of me, Deidara?" he whispered, tears gathering in his eyes. "I love him, I don't want him to leave me!"

"Oh Naruto, un," Deidara simpered sympathetically. He wrapped the other blonde in a hug. "I don't think he's getting tired of you. Not at all, yeah. Maybe it's just a mid-life crisis or something, un."

"He's twenty-three!"

"Oh... okay, un, um..."

"See? You can't think of anything either!" Naruto wailed. "He's going to break up with me, Deidara!"

Deidara really didn't want to think so, but he could see Naruto's point, and the evidence was pretty damning. Plus he'd lied about having to work. Why would he lie like that if he still wanted to be around Naruto? Deidara patted Naruto's back and assured him that no matter what, he and Itachi were always there for him if he needed anything.

After Deidara left, Naruto made one last ditch effort to get Sasuke's attention. He knocked lightly on the office door, and a second later, heard a raspy "Come in". He hesitantly poked his head in the door and put on his best uke face.

"Sasuke, I'm going to take a shower," he said. "Wanna come with me?"

The bastard didn't even look up from his laptop. "Not now, dobe. I'm busy."

"Oh," Naruto whispered, tilting his head forward so his bangs covered his eyes. "O-okay."

He quickly closed the door and ran into the bedroom. He flung himself on the bed and buried his face in the sheets as his body shook with sobs. He really couldn't believe Sasuke didn't want him anymore. After three years together, three fucking years, after the shit they'd been through together... He just couldn't believe it.

He sat up about ten minutes later, wiped his eyes determinedly, and crossed over to the closet. He dragged out a duffel bag and threw his clothes in it haphazardly. He wasn't going to sit around and mope while waiting for the bastard to leave him. He would take matters into his own hands.

When Naruto had finished packing, he shouldered the bag and started heading back downstairs. As he reached his hand for the front door, he hesitated, then turned and went into the kitchen. Despite himself, he would've felt bad if he'd just walked out. He snatched a pad of paper and a pen from the counter, wrote a note to Sasuke, and then left without looking back.

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Several hours later, Sasuke pushed himself away from his desk and snapped his laptop shut. It was just past midnight, and he was sure the dobe would be sleeping, so he crept quietly from his office down the hall. He pushed the door open and pulled his shirt off. He reached for the button on his pants just as he got to the edge of the bed, and he froze.

His blonde wasn't there.

He tried to calm himself down, to assure himself that he was watching TV downstairs or getting a midnight snack of ramen, like he sometimes did. That was it. That had to be it.

The raven turned around and hurried downstairs, growing more panicky when he didn't find the blonde in the living room, lounging on the couch. He turned and high-tailed it to the kitchen, but still, his blonde was nowhere to be found. The Uchiha swore loudly, tangling his fingers in his dark hair. He was just about to turn to leave again when he saw a piece of paper taped to one of the upper cabinets. He snatched it and hurriedly began to read.

_Sasuke-_

_ This was really hard for me to write, so its probably way harder for you to read. We've been together for what, three years? And it's been a hell of a three years, and I mean that in a good way, teme. I mean, mostly. Three years is a long time to be with someone, I get that, but if you were getting tired of me, couldn't you have just told me instead of blowing me off? I think that's called "common courtesy"._

_ We've had some great times together, bastard, and I'm never going to forget that, no matter what. And I'm always going to love you, and damn I'm going to miss you. You'll always be my teme._

_ Love,_

_ Naruto_

Sasuke stared at the letter in disbelief. Was this supposed to be a joke? Was it supposed to be fucking funny or something? The paper fell from his shaking hands and he stormed upstairs, going as fast as he could.

"Dobe! Get out here!" he yelled. "Damn it, that scared the hell out of me! It isn't fucking funny! _Naruto_!"

He threw the door to Naruto's studio open, but the blonde wasn't in there. He turned, complete frantic, and ran into the bedroom. He threw the closet doors open and froze on the spot. His dobe's clothes weren't there. He swore again, snatched a shirt, and ran downstairs. He grabbed his car keys and sprinted out the door.

The first place he went to was Itachi and Deidara's. He jabbed the speaker button viciously, pounding it with his fist. To hell if it was almost one in the morning. He didn't give a fuck. He had to find his dobe, he had to, and he didn't care who he pissed off or who he hurt in the process.

"What?" his brother finally hissed through the speaker.

"Naruto left," Sasuke replied quickly.

"I was in the middle of something, Sasuke. Maybe you've heard of it. It's called sleeping. Now fuck off."

"Itachi, you bastard, didn't you-!"

"Yes I fucking heard you!" Itachi interrupted. "Deidara told me all about it. Naruto called him when he got upset earlier. He knows you lied about the project and he thinks you don't want him anymore."

Sasuke frowned, then said more quietly, "Is he there?"

"No. If he was, believe me, I'd tell you. But he isn't. Now go away. I want to sleep."

Sasuke growled quietly and spun around, stalking back to his car. He was sure he'd be with Deidara, unless Itachi was lying... but he didn't think he was.

The drive to Sakura and Lee's from Itachi and Deidara's took about half an hour. That is, if you weren't a very pissed off Sasuke Uchiha, who always sped in the first place, and who happened to have a very fast sports car. He made it in sixteen minutes flat.

He raced up the stairs, thinking the elevator would take too long, and started pounding on the door to Sakura and the freak's apartment. A few minutes later, a sleepy looking Lee pulled the door open.

"Sasuke-san?" he said with a yawn. "What are you doing up at this youthful hour?"

"Is Naruto here?" he asked impatiently. Lee frowned.

"No, my friend. Is something the matter?" he asked, genuinely concerned. Sasuke groaned, threading his fingers through his hair. He couldn't believe this, he really couldn't. If Naruto wasn't here, and he wasn't with Itachi and Deidara, he was running out of ideas as to where he could be. He was starting to get extremely panicked – well, more so than before, that is. He had to find his dobe. What if something had happened to him?

"Does he not have a brother? Perhaps Naruto is with him," Lee said. Sasuke's head shot up. How could he forget?

"Lee, you're a genius." Never, in a million years, would Sasuke ever have thought that he would utter the phrase. Ever. But it was true – he was still beating himself up about forgetting about Naruto's brother as he climbed back into his car.

Kyuubi was Naruto's senior by three years. The two didn't look much alike, though. Kyuubi had ruby red hair and eyes to match, as well as pale skin that contrasted sharply with his dobe's tan coloring. The two brothers also had quite different personalities. Kyuubi was cunning and sly with a dark sense of humor that Naruto either never understood or was completely appalled by. He was sly and almost ruthless, using any means to get what he wanted, including his lover, Shukaku. Not that the man had put up much of a fight. Still, despite their differences, Naruto and his brother got along surprisingly well. You know what they say – opposites attract.

Kyuubi and Shukaku lived in Suna, a city about two hours roughly southwest of Konoha. He and Naruto went to visit a few times a year, but not very often. Kyuubi did not like Sasuke. Not even a little bit. It had something to do with corrupting his baby brother and ruining his innocence. Sasuke worried on the way there that Kyuubi was going to try and kill him. Seriously, kill him. He wouldn't put it past the elder Uzumaki, quite honestly. Plus, he had Shukaku there to aid and abet in the murder.

Sasuke would have made it to the couple's apartment in an hour flat, he was sure of it, but there was a large accident on the highway and he struggled finding the way to the complex. He made it in an hour and forty minutes, which had him scowling despite himself as he ran up the apartment building's stairs.

He reached the apartment and pounded on the door, even though he knew that alone was enough to get him killed. Sure enough, when the downright murderous (for, there was no other word to describe his expression) looking redhead pulled the door open, he really did fear for his life a little.

He peered past the pissed off Uzumaki and into the living room, only to see Shukaku sitting at the couch. The coffee table had two cups of coffee and what appeared to be an empty bowl of ramen. To Sasuke's disappointment, Naruto was nowhere to be seen.

"If you do not leave," Kyuubi said in a low, cold voice, "I can promise you that I will kill you in the slowest, most painful and torturous way possible. Starting with ripping your balls off."

"It was a misunderstanding," Sasuke said, voice tinged with desperation. "I never had any intention with breaking up with him. I never have, and I certainly never will. I love him more than anything. Please, just let me talk to him. Please."

"He does not wish to see you. Not now, not ever again. Leave. I _will_ sick Shukaku on you."

"Aw, let him in, Kyuu," Shukaku spoke up. "I wanna see Naruto get mad at him!" Kyuubi turned his harsh glare to his boyfriend. "Then after that, you can kill him. Okay?"

For a long moment, silence stretched between the three. Then, with a snarl, Kyuubi snapped, "Fine. I swear to God, Uchiha, you fucking hurt him one more time and your balls are the first to go."

"Thank you," Sasuke murmured appreciatively. He slipped past Kyuubi and hurried down the hallway. The first door he opened was a bathroom, but the second one was luckily the guest room.

His dobe was lying in the center of the bed, spread eagle on his stomach. His head was turned away from Sasuke. The sheets were tangled around him, only covering some parts of him. His long legs were all a part of the mess, and if the situation had been any different, Sasuke would have smiled. Or smirked.

He crossed to the opposite side of the bed so he could see Naruto's face. All around his eyes was red and puffy, and his cheeks were still tear stained. Sasuke felt his heart break a little as he reached out to stroke Naruto's face lovingly.

"Ngh..."

Blue, bloodshot eyes blinked open sleepily and Naruto looked up at Sasuke with a frown. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he sat up, then looked back at the raven, like he didn't believe it was him.

"What are you doing here?" he whispered brokenly.

"Dobe," Sasuke murmured back, continuing to stroke his cheek affectionately. "Did you really think I was tired of you?"

"You kept denying me sex. And I know the thing about the project at work was bull, Sasuke. You lied so you wouldn't have to sleep with me, Sasuke! What was I supposed to think?"

Tears once more started to stream down the blonde's face and he hiccuped rather pathetically. The sound was so cute that Sasuke nearly smiled as he whispered, "Naruto, sh..."

He climbed onto the bed next to Naruto and was rather surprised when the blonde climbed onto his lap and fisted his shirt. He rested his head on the raven's shoulder and let himself cry.

"Listen to me, Naruto," Sasuke said quietly, tilting the younger man's face up to meet his. "I'm not tired of you. I love you, I'm never going to get tired of you or get bored of you. Ever. I love you, I love you..." He peppered Naruto's tan face with soft kisses. "You're _mine_. _My_ Naruto, _my_ dobe, _my_ kitsune, _my_ little uke."

"B-but... you still lied so you wouldn't have to sleep with me!" Naruto whimpered. "Am I suddenly unattractive to you?"

Sasuke crushed his lips onto Naruto's, making the blonde squeak against his mouth. He pushed his tongue through Naruto's lips, not even asking for permission, and thoroughly plundered his mouth. When he pulled away, Naruto was panting, looking up at Sasuke with wide eyes.

"Naruto," Sasuke growled. "You are extremely attractive, and I am _very_ attracted to you. That's not it." He paused suddenly, running his fingers through Naruto's hair. "I was getting... frustrated – with myself!" he added quickly when Naruto's lip quivered. "With myself. I've never been sexually frustrated, especially when you're around to _ease the tension_." He smirked when Naruto turned red.

"Wait...," Naruto said slowly. "Sexually frustrated? I... I was never denying you or anything. I was always available for you. I always am."

"I know, let me finish. I..." Sasuke's face turned a light pink. "I'm always so good with coming up for kinky things for us to do! And I can't think of _anything_. Not one thing! I just – it's like, what's the point if I can't do what I'm best at?"

Naruto stared at him for a long minute in dead silence. Then, to Sasuke's surprise, he burst into laughter.

"That's what this is about? Why we aren't having sex as often? Oh my _God_, Sasuke!"

"Dobe!" Sasuke exclaimed. On the inside, though, he was more relieved than he'd ever been.

"Sasuke," Naruto chuckled, wrapping his arms around the raven. "I wish you just would have told me. We never did, ya know kinky stuff before the coupon thing. It doesn't bother me. I mean, yeah, the kinky stuff usually turns out pretty fucking good." His face turned bright red again. "But that doesn't matter to me. I just like being with you."

"Hn." Sasuke smiled as he buried his face in Naruto's hair. "...I'm sorry, dobe."

"Me, too," Naruto sighed. "Now can we go home please? This bed smells kinda weird."

Sasuke chuckled quietly. "Yeah, we can go home now. Get dressed."

Naruto quickly pecked his lips and untangled himself from the mess of sheets. Sasuke watched as he pulled his jeans and tee shirt on, eyeing his denim clad ass with a hungry eye. Naruto, oblivious to the look, laced up his sneakers and turned to Sasuke with a bright smile.

"Let's go!" he said happily.

Sasuke stood and crossed to his dobe, who took his hand and led them back towards the living room. Kyuubi was on the couch, still looking quite thoroughly pissed off, and Shukaku was behind him, rubbing his shoulders and nibbling on his neck, obviously trying to calm the man down. When the blonde and the raven reentered, Kyuubi immediately stood and glowered at Sasuke.

"Naruto," he growled.

"Oh shut it, Nii-san," Naruto said, rolling his eyes. "It was all just a huge misunderstanding blown out of proportion."

When the redhead merely continued to try and kill Sasuke with his eyes, Naruto scoffed and pulled Sasuke towards the front door.

"Baka," he muttered. "Bye Shukaku, Kyuubi."

Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief when the door closed behind him and smirked rather happily; his balls remained intact.

* * *

"Ngh... Sasuke, it's really really early... Can't we just go to bed now?"

Sasuke, the second they had stepped back into the apartment, had latched onto Naruto's neck like a leech. He growled.

"No," he declared. "I'm going to show you just how much I love you."

Naruto moaned quietly at the thought, then yelped as Sasuke scooped him up bridal style and started to carry him upstairs. He slipped his arms around the raven's pale neck and rested his head on his chest, then sighed happily.

When they reached the bedroom, Sasuke rest Naruto on the edge of the bed and started peeling the blonde's clothes off. Once he was fully naked, Naruto climbed back so he was resting on the center of the bed. Sasuke began to take his clothes off as well, not failing to notice that Naruto's cheeks grew bright pink and he snaked a hand down to stroke his half hard cock.

Sasuke crossed to the nightstand and snatched something from it, set it on the edge of the bed, then climbed on and straddled Naruto. The blonde groaned and threw his arms around Sasuke's neck, tugging him closer. The raven swatted Naruto's hand away from his cock and took both his and Naruto's cocks in his own hand. He pumped them both at the same time, causing Naruto to squirm and mewl happily. However, much to his disappointment, Sasuke released both their cocks and fumbled for whatever he'd taken from the nightstand.

"Sasu!" he whined, arching in search of some friction.

"Sh...," the Uchiha soothed. "You'll love this. Trust me."

Naruto glanced down to see what the raven had; it was a smooth, white, egg-shaped vibrator. When he didn't see any lube, though, he panicked and started struggling under Sasuke.

"Not dry!" he gasped.

"What? No! I'd never do that to you!" Sasuke said immediately. "That's not what this is for. Just calm down, Naru, that's it, calm down..."

Sasuke turned the vibrator on to a medium setting and sat back slightly. Naruto watched him wearily, not comprehending. If the vibrator wasn't going inside of him, then what-?

He let out a scream as he found out what the vibrator was for – Sasuke began to slide it up and down his erection. He smirked at the reaction, as he'd expected nothing less. He set the vibrator in the palm of his hand and began to pump the blonde's hard-on once more. Naruto gave shouts and yells of pleasure as he squirmed on the bed. This was almost better than when Sasuke suck him off! The pleasure was so intense, he knew he wasn't going to last long at all.

Sasuke slid the vibrator from the tip of Naruto's erection down to his balls, provoking a loud groan, and then took the tip of Naruto's member into his mouth. With a garbled, unintelligible scream, Naruto exploded in Sasuke's mouth. The raven drank everything up contentedly, pulling away while licking his lips. He turned the vibrator off and tossed it to the side, then slid up Naruto's sweaty body.

"I told you that you'd love it," he said with a smirk.

"Holy _shit_," was Naruto's reply.

Sasuke chuckled lightly and kissed Naruto breathless.

"That's just part one, dobe," he murmured as he reached down to stroke Naruto back into hardness. The blonde groaned at the thought and trailed a hand down to return the favor. He grasped Sasuke's dick and stroked him in rhythm with Sasuke's hand. The raven groaned appreciatively and buried his face in his boyfriend's neck.

With his free hand, the raven blindly searched for some lube. He snatched a tube off the top of the nightstand and coated three fingers. He pressed a kiss to Naruto's lips as he slipped a finger into the blonde's hole. Naruto moaned and tore himself away from the kiss. Sasuke didn't even falter as he moved down to attack Naruto's neck. He didn't notice that the blonde was sucking on two of his own fingers, or that he was sliding them down his tan chest until another finger poked at his hole. Naruto moaned and slipped his finger in alongside Sasuke's.

The Uchiha bit his lip at the erotic sight and quickly added a second finger at the same time Naruto did, making it four total inside of him.

"P-please, Sas!" Naruto whined, craning his neck to the side so Sasuke had more room. "Now?"

"Now," Sasuke agreed. They both pulled their fingers out and exchanged a sloppy kiss as Sasuke coated his erection in lube. He pressed the tip against Naruto's winking hole, and slowly slipped inside. He went slower than usual, and it felt a little strange for Naruto – but not in a bad way at all.

Once Sasuke was fully seated, balls deep inside his dobe, Naruto squirmed impatiently, waiting for him to move. Sasuke merely stayed still, though he grabbed Naruto's hands and laced their fingers together. He placed their hands on either side of Naruto's head and bent down to give him a gentle kiss.

Naruto was a little confused. When Sasuke had told him he was going to show him how much he loved him, he assumed the raven would take him quickly and hard, demanding to hear the blonde say things like "I'm yours". He didn't expect their coupling to be so... intimate. It had never been like this before.

Sasuke pulled away from the kiss and gazed into Naruto's blue eyes. The he started moving, thrusting slowly but steadily. Before then, Naruto didn't thing there was much of a difference between fucking, having sex, and making love. But he saw it now, and he knew they weren't just having sex. They were making love.

Sasuke never tore his eyes away from Naruto's as he kept moving slowly, though for once he wasn't doing so to tease the blonde. He wanted this to last as long as it could.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," Naruto whispered back, lifting his head to kiss the Uchiha once more. He shuddered, then let out a low groan as he came, his seed coating his and Sasuke's chests. The raven groaned and gave a few short thrusts before he, too, came. He fell on top of the smaller man and pressed kisses along his neck softly.

"We've never done it like that before," Naruto murmured sleepily, playing with Sasuke's jet black locks. "I liked it. Never knew you were such a romantic, Sasuke."

"Hn. Don't expect me to get mushy again for another year or so."

Naruto just close his eyes and smiled. "I won't."

* * *

**I promise that if you're getting tired of mushy, OOC Sasuke, it's going to change in the next chapter!**


	11. Ride 'em, Cowboy

**So... two months since an update. Please don't kill me. Take this smut as a peace offering and don't kill me!**

* * *

_"Naruto will ride Sasuke in the cowboy/reverse cowboy style. Valid one night only."

* * *

_For once, Sasuke stepped into his office building with a bounce in his step the next morning. He didn't even mind the few hours of sleep he'd gotten, because he had instead gotten a wonderful night of his sexy little uke. He would admit the romantic side of their sex life was nice, but he was ready to get back to the kinky side. His usual Uchiha smirk was in place, as per usual, and he had that aura around him that screamed "I had sex last night!"

As he passed by a long row of cubicles on his way to the elevator, he distinctly heard a pale, raven haired man (whom many people assumed to be the third Uchiha brother), mumble, "Someone got some tail last night.".

Sasuke stilled, and the room went dead silent. He turned slowly and turned back around to face Sai Morimoto, a strange glint in his eye. He crossed to the man's cubicle and slowly set down his briefcase, never breaking eye contact. Sai gazed back at him coolly, giving him a small, almost Uchiha-like smirk.

"What was that, Morimoto?" Sasuke asked, his voice perfectly even.

"I know Uzumaki's hot," Said said simply. "It's not like I'm blaming you. I'd hit that, if I could."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and the unemotional look on his face was replaced with a furious one. And bent down, getting directly up in the man's face. Still, Sai's expression didn't display a fraction of fear – or really, anything but the cold smirk he still wore that didn't reach his eyes. Sasuke held the glare for a second, the grabbed the man's tie and yanked so it nearly cut off his airflow.

Sai let out a breathy gasp and scratched at the Uchiha's hands, but he didn't relent.

"If I ever," Sasuke murmured murderously, "_ever_ hear you speak of Naruto in such a way again, not only will I ensure that you never set foot in this building again, but I can promise you that you will never again get a job that doesn't involve dressing up like a cheesy, oversized rat to entertain children. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes," Sai gasped. "L-let me go!"

Sasuke held the glare for a second longer before releasing the man. He picked up his briefcase and strode towards the elevator as if this was a day to day thing.

Sasuke sat in his office not an hour later, pondering what had happened earlier. He had heard that Sai was a pervert that would readily fuck anything with a hole, and he was not happy that Naruto was starting to fall on his radar. The dobe was his, damn it. If Sai didn't understand that... Sasuke would just have to make him.

"Good evening, Deidara," Sasuke murmured fluidly, blatantly ignoring the fact that his brother's blonde was with another customer. He turned and grinned widely.

"Hey, Sasuke! What's up, un?" He turned and patted the dark haired customer on the back, telling him, "Think about it, un, and I'll be back in a minute, yeah." When the man nodded, Deidara bounced over to the Uchiha and gave another grin. "What can I do for you?"

Sasuke smirked evilly, making Deidara himself smirk. When the Uchiha Smirk© came out, it always meant good business for him.

"I'm having a little... problem at work. It has come to my attention that a certain employee of mine has taken a liking to my Naruto – rather, to his ass. I... it made me feel the need to stake my claim. To dominate. I had one way in mind, something that I can have the blonde watch over and over should something like that happen... should someone approach him, God forbid. I'd like a video camera."

"Hey, I got a real good one, un!" Deidara enthused. He let Sasuke to a small display against the far wall with a pink and red sign that blared "SEX CAMERAS! NOW 10% OFF!". Deidara snatched moderate size box and passed it to the raven.

"Here, un. Itachi and I have this one," he said.

Sasuke raised an elegant eyebrow. "You do?"

"Uh, yeah," Deidara said, rubbing the back of his neck. "When Itachi goes away on business trips, un, we each keep copies... yeah. It's actually very fulfilling."

"Hn. I'll keep that in mind." He really would. The web cam on business trips sounded more entertaining to him, but if there was a substantial time difference between Japan and wherever he was, the video tapes did sound like a good idea. "How much is it?"

"Ah, just take it, un," Deidara replied airily, waving his hand. "Consider it a... really early birthday present, un."

"Thank you, Deidara," Sasuke murmured, watching the blonde deactivate the security tag at the register.

"No problem," the blonde said with a grin. "Have fun, un!"

"Hn. Believe me, I will."

Sasuke knew that Naruto was not going to approve of his plan in the slightest, which is why he knew he had to keep it a secret. He had to make sure Naruto didn't suspect anything while getting him horny at the same time, and it wasn't hard – all it took was a bag full of Ichiraku's ramen. Whenever he actually went out and got it for the idiot, it put him in a great mood. Naruto in a great mood usually meant that he was more willing to play, which let Sasuke to believe it was simply a win-win.

He watched Naruto tear the bag open, just barely concealing his smirk, and informed him, "I'm going to shower and change, okay?"

"'kay," Naruto replied, taking his ramen out of the bag. "Aren't you hungry, Sas?"

"Not really," he murmured simply, shrugging. "Kanpai, dobe."

"Itadakimasu!" the blonde said eagerly, raising his chopsticks before diving in. Sasuke rolled his eyes but allowed himself a small smile before turning to the staircase. As he grabbed his suitcase, a smirk overturned his smile as he thought of the new toy he'd bought at Deidara's shop. He hurried upstairs and into the bedroom, shutting the door behind himself silently. He surveyed the room for a moment before finding the perfect spot. He crossed over to the dresser, perched in a corner with a perfect view of the bed. The top was cluttered with pictures and little knick knacks, making it even better. Sasuke pulled the video camera from his bag, set it on the dresser, and slid into the bathroom

He wasn't in for even five minutes before he heard Naruto open the door not so subtly. He was amused that the dobe was trying to do the same things he did – it really quite pleased him. He decided to play along and acted like he had not heard anything. Even before tan arms wrapped around his waist or calloused hands ran across his stomach, he could hear Naruto's stifled giggle.

"Joining me, dobe?" he questioned, letting his amusement seep into his voice.

"Mmhm," Naruto purred, nuzzling the nape of his neck. "I thought about last night all day, you know..."

"Hn?"

"Oh yeah. Made me so horny..." He grasped Sasuke's half erect cock and stroked slowly, rubbing his own arousal against the back of the raven's thigh. "When I took a shower this morning I had my fingers in myself, and I was stroking my dick the way you do, you know, how you tease the head..." He did that very thing to Sasuke's manhood as he spoke, making the raven moaned quietly. "I always pretend it's your fingers, your hand, you know. Otherwise it doesn't feel as good, and I come moaning, not _screaming _for you."

Sasuke spun around with a growl, knocking Naruto's hand away. He grabbed the blonde's shoulders and shoved him against the shower wall, furiously grinding their hips together and sucking on Naruto's tan neck. The dobe groaned appreciatively, gripping Sasuke's shoulders as he began to thrust back against Sasuke.

"You're going to show me that," Sasuke growled, licking the hickey he'd left on his boyfriend's neck. "You're going to put your fingers inside your greedy little hole and I'm going to watch. You'll do anything I say, or I won't let you come. Got that?"

"Y-yes!" the blonde moaned. "Anything!"

"Mm, good boy. Let's go." He grabbed Naruto's hand and shut of the shower off, but Naruto whined in protest and tried to tug the raven back to him.

"Here?" he pleaded. "D-don't wanna wa-wait."

Under any other circumstances, Sasuke would have reattached the blonde to the wall and fucked him senseless. But he refrained himself (for once) and shook his head.

"No. In bed," he said gruffly, dragging the blonde into the bedroom. Naruto whined again and quickened his pace, walking so fast that he was the one pulling his boyfriend to the bed. Sasuke let out a throaty chuckle as he let Naruto pull him on top of the blonde. "Eager, my kitsune?"

Naruto flushed and muttered, "Shut up, it's your fault for making me so horny all the time bastard. Now less taking, more fucking."

"Mm, don't be embarrassed," Sasuke purred, slowing beginning to nibble on the blonde's neck, "I'm quite eager as well. You're such a sexy little uke, Naru... You're _my_ little uke. _Mine_."

With that, Sasuke ground his teeth down and left a large purple hickey on Naruto's tan neck, making sure to place it where anyone could see it. The blonde moaned, half in pleasure and half in annoyance. Pleasure seemed to win out, though, because he wrapped his arms around Sasuke's neck and began grinding their erections together again.

"Yours!" he mewled. "Sasuke's!"

Sasuke could not have been anymore pleased with the way this was going. He had Naruto almost incoherent with need, calling out to the world that he was the Uchiha's – or rather, calling out to the camera, though he didn't know that. _Nor did he need to_, Sasuke thought wisely, sucking on Naruto's neck as the blonde moaned wantonly. He wrapped his arms around the older man's neck and ground their erections together rhythmically.

"Sasu!" he wailed. "Want you in me! Please!"

"Didn't you hear me, Naruto?" the raven murmured fluidly. "You're going to have to prepare yourself for me."

"But Sasuke! Want you so bad..." Naruto licked a trailed across Sasuke's neck and began peppering kisses along the pale column. "Need you, Sas... 's not the same if I do it... your fingers are so much longer. Reach deeper inside me."

"Naughty Naruto. Your memory is failing you tonight. Or am I just that good at making you incoherent?" He smirked. "You agreed to do anything for me... including put your fingers in your tight little hole. You agreed that if you didn't, I wouldn't let you come tonight."  
Naruto's blue eyes grew impossibly wide. "Wh-? No! Sasuke, need to come! You can't let me not – I'll – I'll explode!"

Sasuke chuckled at how innocent Naruto still was despite all the sex they had. Of course, Sasuke wasn't going to let the blonde go without coming – after all, he didn't want his kit to "explode." He did, however, enjoy the power he held over Naruto, he loved being able to get him so drowned in pleasure that he was completely at Sasuke's mercy.

"We don't want that, now do we?" Sasuke murmured. He nibbled lightly on Naruto's collarbone for a moment, relishing in the blonde's moans, before he pulled back. "Are you going to listen to me now, Naru?" His kit nodded eagerly, making Sasuke smirk as he carded his fingers through Naruto's sunshine locks. "Good boy. Prepare yourself for me, now. Spread your legs wider, that's it..."

Naruto fumbled with the lube and allowed Sasuke to rearrange him as he pleased. He ended up inclined slightly on the pillows, his feet flat on the bed and his legs pulled apart. Sasuke sat between his spread feet, his eyes eagerly devouring the sight Naruto's hole. The blonde bit his lip, sliding his hand between his legs.

"Start with two, Naru," Sasuke commanded. "One finger of mine is bigger than one of yours. Put two in to get the right size, kit."

Naruto moaned, his face steadily growing more and more red with every dirty word that fell from Sasuke's lips. He did as he was told, slipping two fingers into himself. Immediately he began thrusting them, groaning loudly as he prodded his sweet spot. He bit his lip to retain the sound, but was reprimanded by a sharp nip to his thigh.

"Don't hold back," Sasuke growled. "I want to hear every noise you make, Naruto."

At once, a loud cry spilled from Naruto's lips. His hips bucked as he frantically drove himself up and down on his own fingers. He gasped when he felt another press against his hole. Sasuke merely smirked at him as he slid in two of his own fingers in beside Naruto's. The blonde moaned, louder than his previous ones, and began moving his fingers faster. The raven smirked and did the same, leaning down and laving his tongue against the blonde's perineum.

Naruto lost it. With a garbled scream of what sounded like his boyfriend's name, he arched off the bed. Ribbons of hot cum shot from the head of his cock as he collapsed against the bed, boneless, a broken sob of pleasure ringing through the room. When he came down from his high, he was aware of only one thing - the fingers were no longer inside of him.

"S-Sasuke?" he exclaimed shakily. He received a harsh nip to the throat in response; harsh enough to leave a bruise, but not enough to break the skin.

"That was very, very naughty of you, Naruto," Sasuke whispered lowly. Naruto shuddered, craning his neck to look up at the raven. "Coming without me giving you permission to..."

"Huh? B-but Sas! You never said anything about that! _Sasuke_!"

"Hush, Naruto," Sasuke murmured. He grabbed the lube and spread it over his dick as he spoke. "This time you know not to until I say you can, now don't you? Hm?" Naruto nodded slowly, turning and burying his face in the pillow. Sasuke allowed himself a smirk before he grabbed Naruto's waist and rolled them over, so Naruto was on top.

"Sasuke?" Naruto whispered. Naruto rarely got to ride the raven; Sasuke didn't like relinquishing his control to anyone. It was a rare treat to get to do this, and it was something that he looked forward to; though, of course, he'd never admit that.

"I shouldn't be giving you such a nice reward," Sasuke muttered, barely rubbing the head of his cock against Naruto's hole. "I know that you love riding me, Naruto, but you've been so naughty. We'll have to make a bit of a compromise..."

Before Naruto could ask what the compromise was, a click sounded through the room and he found out - his hands had been cuffed behind his back. "Sas!" he exclaimed. That was all he managed to get out, though, before Sasuke thrust up into him in one solid stroke. The blonde let out a long, keening moan, verging on a scream. Sasuke began pounding up into him immediately, barely even pausing. Naruto raised and lowered his hips frantically, letting out loud moans and keens as he did. The sound of skin slapping against skin was coupled perfectly by both men's noises, Naruto's loud keens and Sasuke's low growls. The ruthless pace was fast and unforgiving, but both men were thriving on it.

"Mine!" Sasuke snarled. "_M-mine_! Say it!"

"Yours!" Naruto wailed obediently. "Sasuke's! Yours!"

Sasuke continued with a low, broken mantra of "Mine, mine, mine!" as he grasped Naruto's cock and stroked him quickly, clumsily, the pace of his hand matching that if his hips. He wasn't going to last long, and there was no way in hell he'd come before Naruto.

"Come for me," he demanded. "_Come_, Naruto."

Naruto screamed, shuddering viciously as he came for a second time. Sasuke groaned as he felt the blonde's walls constrict around him tightly, managing one, two more thrusts before he came inside his boyfriend. His thrusts grew lazy as he let every last drop of cum spill from his cock and into Naruto. When he finally finished, he pulled out of a boneless Naruto and uncuffed his hands. His dobe fell against his chest without a sound, making Sasuke frown. He pushed him away slightly so he could see Naruto's face and smirked. Naruto had passed out.

Sasuke chuckled to himself and rolled Naruto onto the bed and stood, stretching slightly. He turned to the camera, just remembering its presence, and flashed a wicked smirk at the device. He stood, crossed to the dresser, and turned the camera off. He glanced over his shoulder. He'd love nothing more than to curl up next to his sleeping dobe, but duty called. He had a little work to do...

* * *

Naruto was positively beaming the next morning as he pressed the customary goodbye kiss to Sasuke's lips before he headed off to work. Sasuke's smirk had returned, and stayed put until he entered his floor at the office. His face took on the classic, stoic Uchiha mask as he marched determinedly to his destination.

Sai barely glanced at Sasuke as he passed, but frowned contemplatively when his boss made a motion for Sai to follow him. He did so cautiously. He knew that good things rarely came out of the Uchiha's office in one piece; if you didn't come out fired, you came out in a body bag or on a stretcher.

"Sit," Sasuke commanded briskly. Sai did so, watching Sasuke as he locked the door and shut the office's curtains. Sai was certain than that this was his imminent death, here in his boss's office. But to his surprise, Sasuke sat calmly behind his desk, opened his briefcase, and slid a DVD into the disk drive of his computer. For a moment, all was silent aside from the clicking of Sasuke's mouse. Then, he turned the monitor to face Sai; the computer was open to some sort of movie software.

"Because you cannot seem to get it through that thick, dimwitted skull of yours that Naruto is mine," Sasuke said in a dangerous, even voice, "I have prepared a small... presentation for you."

He pressed a key on his keyboard and the screen lit up with a scene that made his pants tight and his face flush darkly: his boss hovering over Naruto, both drenched in sweat and both very much naked. Then the color drained from his face as it really hit him; his boss was making him watch him fuck his boyfriend!

_"Mine!"_ the Sasuke in the video snarled._ "M-mine! Say it!"_

_"Yours!"_ Naruto cried, the sound ringing loud and clear through the speakers._ "Sasuke's! Yours!"_

_ "Mine, mine, mine, mine!"_

Sasuke shut the video off. Sai was extremely pale and looked as though he was about to be sick.

"I believe you understand now?" Sasuke murmured evenly. Sai gave a shaky nod. "Good. Now get the hell out of my office."

Sai was only too happy to oblige.

* * *

**Okay, so I waited until the end of the chapter to bombard you with notes. This way you're all happy from the smut and will (hopefully) actually read this.**

**First of all, the votes are in! The final coupon shall be (drum roll please): ...A delicious Naruto sundae! Yay :) This chapter should be up in one week or less. Keep in mind that I have finals coming up, so I'll be studying a lot soon.**

**Second of all, I'm sad to say that this story is almost over :( Only one more chapter! So sad. BUT this also means that I get to start a new story! I'm working on a ItaNaru smutty one-shot, and I'll still be doing the one-shot about Naruto and Sasuke's first time together, but that probably won't be the one I write next. Also, I may or may not be writing a collection of one-shots that feature Naruto as an uke with various semes (like BonneNuit's Uke Ichigo collection, if you've ever read that. If you haven't, go to my favorite stories. It's a great series!). They'll all be unrelated, like I'll have a one-shot with Naruto and Sasuke in one chapter, and the next is Naruto and Kiba or something like that. But like I said, I don't know what I want to do yet.**

**And yes, I just made up a last name for Sai. There wasn't one on the Naruto wiki thing I looked at, so I just found a Japanese surname and gave it to him.  
**

**If you have any thoughts, questions, comments, expressions of outrage - just pm me! I'm happy to talk to anyone :)  
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	12. A Naruto Sundae

**THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER! *sniff* There was a little tear in my eye while I wrote this. Please enjoy, even though it's two weeks later than I'd thought it come out (sorry!). I'll save the rest of my ramblings til the end :)**

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_"Sasuke and Naruto may take part in one food related sexual encounter. Valid one night only."_

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Sasuke was in a brilliant mood as he entered their apartment. He'd gotten to yell at six people today (including Sai, though the man really hadn't done anything), he'd fired two more people, his brother's assistant spilled coffee on him, and Sasuke got to watch that poor sucker get fired... All in all, it had been a marvelous day for him at Uchiha Corp. Now all that was left to do was to find his little blonde uke and tie him to the bed for a few hours and his day would be complete...

"Sasuke!"

Oh no. His Naruto did not sound very pleased. Sasuke would have to fix that... He was pretty good at distracting Naruto when the blonde was angry, namely with his wonderful oral skills. Not that the dobe ever complained too much.

Said dobe stomped into the foyer, looking absolutely furious. Hm, so maybe this was something that a blow job couldn't fix... then again, Sasuke gave pretty damn good head. A sudden whack to the raven's head made him wince and turn his attention back to his boyfriend.

"Teme!" he shrieked. "Listen to me, dammit!"

"I am listening," Sasuke argued.

"No you aren't," Naruto scowled back. He shook his head and returned his glare to his boyfriend. "Deidara called me today." Uh oh. That was never good. "He asked me if I liked the camera you bought yesterday. Tell me, Sasuke. Why did you buy a camera from Deidara?"

_Defuse the situation! Defuse!_ Sasuke's mind screamed at him. He took a deep breath, tilted his head to one side and gave Naruto that smirk that always made him flush bright red. He only turned a light shade of pink, but that would be fixed soon.

"Well, dobe, it was supposed to be a surprise," he said in a low, sexy murmur. Naruto's eyes narrowed slightly. "He was telling me about when Itachi needs to go off on business trips, they both keep copies... He told me it's quiet fulfilling." He crossed to the blonde and wrapped his arms around his waist, nuzzling the soft spot behind Naruto's ear. "Doesn't that sound like fun, Naru? Watching me pound into your sweet little ass... jerking yourself off and moaning my name." He nipped at Naruto's ear, smirking at the low moan he received. "Hm, Naru?"

"I – I guess...," replied the blonde hesitantly. "But... I mean, it – it'll be weird knowing we're being filmed. Like, I'm not gonna be able to... ya know..." Ah, there was that dark red flush that Sasuke loved.

The old man chuckled, ignoring the glare his boyfriend sent him for it. "Naru, that's never a problem for you," he assured. He snaked a hand between their bodies and slowly began rubbing the blonde's cock through his pants, making him moan again, louder, and slump against the raven. "Especially when I'm around..."

"D-don't start something you can't finish, teme," Naruto hissed. He let out another loud groan as Sasuke rubbed harder. The raven smirked at the challenge and hoisted Naruto up into his arms, ignoring the indignant yelp he received in response. Naruto slid his arms around his boyfriend's neck, face flamed bright red, and allowed himself to be carried upstairs.

By the time they got to the bedroom, Sasuke was rock hard and barely able to stand. Some how from the impossible angle, Naruto had snaked a hand down the raven's pants and had begun stroking his cock firmly. With an almost animalistic snarl, Sasuke tossed the blonde onto the bed rather haphazardly and threw himself on top of the smaller man. Naruto responded to the aggressiveness eagerly, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's neck and grinding their hips together.

"Why are you so damn hot, Naruto?" Sasuke growled. Naruto merely moaned in response, tugging at the raven's shirt. His boyfriend, ever the patient one, pulled away from the blonde (which did _not_ make him whine) and slowly, one by one, undid the buttons of his white collared shirt.

"S-Sasuke!" Naruto growled in a very admirably Uchiha-like way. "Do _not_ tease me, damn it!"

Sasuke smirked. "Was that an order, Na-ru-to?" he murmured. "Do you want to-"

His sentence ended in a grunt of surprise as Naruto grabbed him by the shoulders and tossed him back onto the pillows. Buttons flew as the blonde literally tore Sasuke's shirt off – "Damn it, Naruto, that was an expensive shirt!" – and then he leaned down and began tracing patterns on the pale chest before him – _with his tongue_. Sasuke didn't care too much about the shirt, then, and settled for sliding a hand into Naruto's hair and rubbing his head instead.

His uke didn't stay at his chest for very long, though; soon there were two tan hands yanking his pants down around his thighs, then his boxers, and finally, finally, that tongue was licking up and down his shaft like his life depended on it. Naruto moved his mouth over the head of his boyfriend's cock and slid down, moaning lowing at the salty taste and musky scent that invaded his senses.

Sasuke, meanwhile, was in heaven. His eyes rolled back in his head and his grip grew tight on the bright sunshine locked clenched in his fist. He groaned lowly, bucking his hips, trying to get more of that hot, wet, delicious mouth. Naruto took his time, though, slowly sliding his mouth up and down Sasuke's shaft, rolling his balls leisurely in his free hand.

The raven didn't last long; Naruto was too fucking good at this for his own good. Though, Sasuke wasn't complaining. His grip tightened further on Naruto's hair, his back arched, and his cum began pouring down Naruto's throat.

He came too a moment later with Naruto laying across his chest, now shirtless as he nuzzled Sasuke's neck and nearly purred. Sasuke ran a hand through his hair, then snaked the hand down to the blonde's jeans – only to find a wet patch spread across the front. He raised an amused eyebrow down at his dobe, who turned a brilliant shade of red and hid his face in Sasuke's neck once more.

"Shut up," he muttered. "You're hot, okay?"

"I didn't say anything," the raven replied with a chuckle, twirling a piece of yellow hair between his fingers. "I think it's hot, Naru."

"Don't patronize me!" the blonde huffed indignantly.

"...Who taught you that word?"

"Deidara." Ah, of course. Who else but Deidara would teach Naruto a word like "patronize"? "He says Itachi does it to him all the time." Of course he did.

"I'm not patronizing you." Sasuke rolled over so he was laying on top of his boyfriend, covering his smaller body with his own. He smirked. "Do you want me to show you how hot it is?"

Naruto decided that that didn't sound too bad.

Sasuke was busy for the next two weeks to the point where he was gone by six each morning and home no earlier than midnight every night. Naruto knew that his work got like this sometimes, but he couldn't help but feel a little neglected. Sometimes he'd stay up late, past midnight, past one AM, two, three... Only to drift off and discover the following morning that he had either fallen asleep at his desk or hadn't made it past the couch before he collapsed.

Naruto stopped staying up by the end of the first week.

He would have gone to Deidara when the loneliness got to him, but his blonde friend was far too busy at his shop to spend time with him. So he turned to Kiba – only to find out that he and his own boyfriend were celebrating their anniversary with a week in bed. Sakura and Lee had gotten engaged about a month ago, and they were working on wedding plans. He called Sakura anyways, expecting to be bummed out again, but to his surprise she reacted enthusiastically and practically insisted that he come over, so Naruto took off to the pinkette's apartment, in higher spirits than he'd been in for a while.

"I'm so glad you're here!" Sakura babbled, dragging him inside by the wrist. "I haven't talked to you in so long! I've been so lonely all week, Lee went to visit his old martial arts instructor, Gai. You remember Gai, right, Naruto?"

Gai was an absolute creep; he was the one that planted all that "youth" crap into Lee's head. Naruto and Sasuke had met the man at last year's Christmas party. He'd come across the young couple making out under a clump of mistletoe and began screaming and out right sobbing about how beautiful and youthful their youth and beauty was. Sasuke had punched him in the face and had him arrested for being a disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace (Sasuke had connections). The raven then proceeded to fuck Naruto blind in Lee and Sakura's master bedroom.

Yes. Naruto remembered Gai.

"But anyways, he's coming home later tonight. I'm making dinner!" she pointed proudly to the overloaded stove. Naruto whistled.

"You sure are going all out!" he commented. Sakura's face lit up.

"I know. I have a surprise for him, and I want it to be special," she replied.

"Surprise? I love surprises! What is it?" Naruto demanded. Her cheeks turned pink and she turned her gaze away.

"I guess I can tell you...," she said slowly. "I mean, I'm telling Lee tonight, so..."

"Sakura!" whined the blonde. "Come on, what is it? Tell me!"

She beamed widely at the blonde, finally relenting. "I'm pregnant."

Naruto grinned back then let out a happy laugh. He hugged his friend tightly, nearly jumping up and down in his excitement. "Sakura, that's fantastic! I'm so happy for you two!"

"Thanks," Sakura replied, glowing. "I think Lee's going to be excited. Don't you?"

"He will be," the blonde assured. "You two are going to be great parents."

_ "So long as Lee doesn't screw the kid up too bad and teach him all about youth and beauty and love and shit like that,"_ he added mentally. _"...Oh God, what if Gai gets a hold of the kid?"_

Naruto didn't voice his concerns and instead enjoyed his time with the mother-to-be. They chatted for quite a few hours, Naruto occasionally helping Sakura with dinner, and Naruto told her all about Sasuke. She merely provided him with a gallon of chocolate ice cream and a quick "He'll be back to you soon" before she was off to the bathroom with a bout of morning sickness. The blonde decided to make his leave, then; as much as he loved the pinkette, that was just gross.

He got home around two o'clock after a stop at Ichiraku's for some ramen. The apartment was, of course, empty. Naruto sighed quietly to himself and wandered into the kitchen. He was in an ice cream kind of mood. Whenever he and Deidara were upset, they turned to ice cream – Sakura taught them that.

So he pulled out the works – vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, sprinkles, caramel. Rather than grabbing a regular bowl, he instead snatched a large Tupperware container from the cupboard and filled it with his collection from the fridge. He grabbed a spoon and kicked his shoes off as he returned to the living room. Setting his concoction down on the coffee table, he ran upstairs and snatched a blanket, then returned and popped in a movie – _Fight Club_. It was Sasuke's favorite, and the blonde only watched it under his own will when Sasuke was off on business trips and he missed the raven.

He was about half way through the film when – unnoticed by him – the front door opened and closed. The blonde jumped when two pale arms snaked around his neck and down his torso. A husky chuckle filled his ear.

"_Fight Club_, Naru?" Sasuke purred lowly.

"Teme!" Naruto shrieked. "That was mean!" Suddenly he paused, turning around to face his tired looking boyfriend. A grin immediately fell across his face. "Teme!" he repeated, this time more affectionately. He wrapped his arms tightly around the raven's neck, burying his face against his soft skin. "What are you doing home so early?"

"Project's done," Sasuke grunted in reply. "I got to come home early." He nuzzled the soft spot behind the blonde's ear and frowned a little at the sight of the empty ice cream bowl on the coffee table. "What's with the ice cream, dobe?"

"...I missed you, bastard," Naruto finally muttered, hiding his face deeper into the raven's neck. Sasuke smiled slightly and rubbed Naruto's back. He wouldn't admit it, but he'd missed the dobe, too. He'd also been trying to come up with new ways for said dobe and him to get "reacquainted", but nothing adequate came to mind. At the sight of his boyfriend's comfort food, though, an idea struck him. He suddenly felt a lot less tired...

"Naru...," he murmured silkily, sliding his hand a little lower so it rested at the curve of Naruto's ass, "You know, we haven't had sex in two weeks..."

"Mm, you have the best ideas," Naruto replied, placing a row of wet kisses along the raven's pale neck. "But aren't you tired, bastard?"

"Never too tired to ravish you." Sasuke smirked as Naruto's tan face filled with color and he huffed rather indignantly. He merely chuckled and ran his hands lightly along the dobe's sides. "I have something new for us to do today," he continued lowly, "something I think you'll really enjoy..."

Naruto's eyes lit up, but he remained cautious; usually Sasuke's idea of a something new that he'd "enjoy" involved tying the blonde up.

"Yeah?" he ventured.

"Mmhm..." Sasuke's smirk remained in place as he pressed a quick kiss to Naruto's lips. "Now why don't you go upstairs and wait for me, give me a chance to... get ready."

Naruto didn't even want to begin thinking about what Sasuke had to do to "get ready" for their new sexual escapade. But he rose obediently, shouting indignantly when Sasuke slapped his ass, and scampered upstairs to their bedroom. He paused in the doorway, unsure of what to do with himself at first. Then he took off his shirt, his socks, and his pants. He stood in his boxers for a long moment before crossing to the bed. After fishing around briefly in the nightstand, he pulled out the tube of lube and set it on the bed, only to find that once more he was unsure of what to do with himself.

The indecision didn't last for long, however, when Sasuke returned. He had discarded his jacket, tie, shoes and socks somewhere downstairs, and his shirt had been unbuttoned and untucked. The raven smirked and eyed Naruto up and down.

"Eager, dobe?" he questioned. But Naruto wasn't listening; he was focused solely on what Sasuke clutched in his hands.

"Ice cream?" Oh, his blonde was so cute when he was confused. "That's your new idea? _Ice cream_?"

"Calm down, my kit," Sasuke replied evenly. "Trust me. Lie down on the bed."

Naruto bristled for a moment before complying, laying down on his back, slightly pushed up onto the pillows. Sasuke set the several items he'd brought up on the nightstand and climbed on top of the blonde, straddling him, then quickly set to work with getting his dobe as excited as he was. He moved slowly, leisurely, starting with suckling on the dobe's tan neck. He left a few bite marks where the world could see them. He preferred it like that; that way everyone knew that Naruto was his.

"S-Sasuske! Don't!" groaned Naruto. "Kyuubi's coming to visit on Friday-! He – he'll see!"

"Well damn," Sasuke muttered. He wanted everyone to see the marks _but_ Kyuubi. The fiery haired man had a serious vendetta against the raven, and the marks would only fuel that. Shukaku would get a kick out of it, though, the sick little bastard. But he could worry about that later – right now he had to deal with his blonde.

"You can cover them up," he said quickly. "Right now we're not thinking about that." He punctuated the statement with a sharp bite to his collarbone, safe out of Kyuubi's line of sight.

He ventured down from the tan neck to two pert nipples, slowly laving his tongue against them. Little Sasuke twitched in interest when Naruto's moans resounded loudly through the room, but as much as he loved simply pounding the dobe until he forgot his own name, he wanted to enjoy this. A pale hand crept down and yanked Naruto's boxers from his hips, smirking at the embarrassed squeak the actions provoked.

Little Naruto – as he had begun to refer to his dobe's dick, sadly – was laying half interested against the dobe's thigh. Sasuke frowned and set out to fix that, stroking him slowly. He groaned and pushed up into his boyfriend's hand, panting lightly and letting his eyes slide closed.

"You remember the coupon book you gave me?" he murmured, slowly creeping a hand towards the nightstand without the blonde noticing. "We've been using those coupons for months, and I only have one left..."

He snatched the near empty booklet and tore out the last page. "This says that you and I can have one food related sexual encounter – a hot way to word that, by the way, dobe." Naruto flushed and pouted. "I've saved the best for last... My very own Naruto sundae."

**THE END!**

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**Just kidding! Sorry :) On with the REAL ending now :)**

"I've saved the best for last... My very own Naruto sundae."

Naruto wouldn't admit it, but the mere thought of Sasuke drizzling chocolate sauce all over his caramel colored skin and cleaning him with his tongue turned him on to no end. He let out a low groan and rubbed his now hard cock against Sasuke's still clothed groin. The raven let out a moan followed by a breathless chuckle.

"I think you like that idea," he murmured. He stepped off the bed, grinning slightly at Naruto's whine of protest, and slipped out of his slacks and boxers. However, to the blonde's chagrin, he didn't climb back onto the bed. Instead, he moved to the nightstand and went over the items he'd brought. He stood with his back to his boyfriend, making sure that Naruto was unable to see what he had in store.

The raven turned with another smirk in place and finally climbed back on top of his uke. Naruto mewled happily, grinding his hips against his boyfriend's and sucking at his neck. Sasuke groaned slightly and stilled the blonde's tan hips, making him emit another whine.

"I don't particularly like sweets," Sasuke murmured, his tone almost conversational as he drizzled chocolate sauce over Naruto's chest. "However, you, my kit, are simply _delectable_."

At the last word, he capped the bottle and tossed it aside in favor of lapping at the blonde's chest. He really didn't care for the overly sweet taste of the chocolate, but mixed with Naruto's delicious flavor, the taste was almost intoxicating. He cleaned his boyfriend's chest slowly, taking his time despite Naruto's urges to move faster. The pale man paid particularly attention to his dusky nipples, sucking and licking them longer than was strictly needed – not that the blonde was complaining.

Sasuke continued his journey down his dobe's torso. He stopped once more at Naruto's navel this time, thrusting his tongue languidly in and out of the small hole and all the while giving Naruto the most smoldering, sexy look he could muster. It nearly sent the poor blonde over the edge – almost. With a quiet click, Sasuke had placed a cock ring at the base of Naruto's penis.

"Teme!" he yelped. "I hate that thing! Take it off!"

"Not yet, dobe," the raven replied. "We've barely even started."

Naruto gaped at his boyfriend. There was _more_?

Sasuke chuckled, a low, husky sound, as he snatched the chocolate sauce again. Now that his kit's chest was clean, it was time to move further south. He drizzled the chocolate over the tan thighs, making intricate designs, and then, finally, poured a liberal amount over Naruto's flushed cock, letting the sauce pour over his balls and down to his pink entrance. He smirked at the low moan the dobe let out and tossed the bottle aside once again.

With an obvious intent, Sasuke buried his face between Naruto's spread legs. Panting, Naruto raised himsefl up on his elbows to see what his boyfriend was up to when-

"Ah! _Sasuke_!"

The raven deep throated Naruto's chocolate covered dick in one go. He pulled off almost at once, though, and instead trailed his tongue tortuously slowly down to the two dark, heavy balls that rested under Naruto's cock. He had to grasp his dobe's tan hips and hold them to the bed to stop them from bucking, which Naruto _didn't_ appreciate. But Sasuke continued with the slow pace, cleaning his balls languidly.

His mouth finally trailed back up to Naruto's cock. At first, the raven took in only the head, sucking softly until no chocolate was left there. Then he pulled off and licked his shaft from the base of the cock ring to the swollen head.

Naruto was panting harshly, tossing his head from side to side as he tried to lift his hips up into Sasuke's hot, delicious mouth. He was reprimanded with a soft nip to the inside of his thigh and stilled once again. This was torture, but very, very pleasurable torture; that kind he didn't mind too much.

Sasuke was quickly finished with Naruto's cock. He was being to grow impatient, despite himself; he was ready to fuck his dobe senseless after they'd spent so long without any action at all. So he grasped Naruto's hips, lifting them slightly, and set out to clean Naruto's tight, pink entrance. His tongue quickly lapped around the little pucker, cleaning his hole without diving in, then slid up to his perineum and lapped the chocolate that was there as well. With that done, he pushed his tongue straight into Naruto's entrance.

"Ngh! Sas – ah! Sasuke!" moaned the blonde. He buried a hand in his boyfriend's raven locks and tugged, ignoring the death glare he received in return. Sasuke returned to the task, wetting Naruto's hole briefly before pulling away entirely.

"Sasuke!" growled Naruto. "Dammit, you barely did anything!"

Sasuke raised an elegant eyebrow in return. "Is that so?" he drawled. "Well then, if that's what you think, maybe I should just leave you here to take care of this-" He gave Naruto's dick a swift tug. "-yourself."

Panting, Naruto barely managed to get out a breathless "Teme!" before he fell back onto the pillows.

The raven smirked in a self-satisfied way, leaning once more over to the nightstand. The ice cream he'd brought had melted somewhat, but it would still work just fine. He took the spoon and fed a dollop of the strawberry ice cream to his dobe. Naruto, feeling rather vengeful, did wicked things to the spoon with his tongue, leaving his mouth open for his boyfriend to watch.

It was Sasuke's turn to groan. He tossed the spoon aside haphazardly and dove in, claiming Naruto's mouth harshly. Naruto mewled happily underneath him, tilting his head back as he allowed the raven's tongue into his mouth. He pulled back after a few short seconds, though, and dipped his pale fingers back into the ice cream.

"Bad boy," he muttered, panting slightly. "That was naughty, my little kit..."

"Then punish me," the blonde insisted, grinding his hips against the taller man's. Sasuke bit his lip to hold back another moan and slid one ice cream coated finger into his boyfriend's pucker. Naruto moaned, pressing back against the thrusting digit.

"Another!" he gasped. "Sas, a-another!"

With a growl, the raven complied, shoving another finger in. Naruto's face screwed up temporarily, then relaxed. He pressed his hips down again, desperately attempting to fuck himself on Sasuke's fingers. His boyfriend, however, really was in a teasing mood today; every time Naruto tried to press his hips down, Sasuke put pull them back so that only the tips of the fingers were inside the blonde.

He quickly learned to still his hips and let Sasuke go as he pleased; if he tried rocking against the digits, Sasuke would stop moving or pull the fingers out entirely. Naruto didn't want that, so he kept still as best he could – until, that is, the raven found his prostate. Then he couldn't help himself as he moaned loudly and bounced on his boyfriend's pale hand.

Sasuke chuckled to himself, withdrawing his fingers and dipping his hand once more into the ice cream. He slathered his cock liberally with the sticky pink mess, leaning down to place a few sloppy kisses on Naruto's lips. Naruto let out a loud, pleasured cry as Sasuke slid into him and almost immediately set up a fast pace. He mewled and moaned, pushing back against the thrusts eagerly. Sasuke let out a breathless groan in Naruto's ear as he angled himself to hit Naruto's prostate. The blonde screamed, overwhelmed by the pleasure. He snaked a hand down between his legs and clumsily began fisting himself, but Sasuke swatted away his hand and replaced it with his own pale one.

"Y-you love th – this, don't you, dobe?" he panted. "My hand o-on your cock, and m-my cock filling your a-ass..."

"Yes!" the younger wailed in reply. "Love it! Love you! Ah!"

Sasuke groaned and began moving faster, feeling his climax coming; he couldn't believe he'd been able to stay away from his kit for so long! He swore to himself that he'd never do it again, no matter what. Because as often as he called him his dobe, as often as they argued and disagreed, and as often as Naruto yelled "Teme" at him, he was always going to love him, and he sure as hell wasn't able to live without him.

As they lay together in the afterglow of their love making, Sasuke wondered what kind of ring Naruto would want.

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**_THE END! For real this time!_**

36,647 words, 12 chapters, 34 pages single spaced - I've been a busy little fangirl! Kukuku ;) Thanks to all my loyal readers and reviewers, I couldn't have done it without all you guys! :)

**For those who are interested I have a Harry/Draco one-shot posted (if you also happen to like that), as well as a short ItaNaru fic. The SasuNaru one-shot/prequel is in progress, I promise!**


	13. Prequel!

**Hello loyal readers!**

**If you haven't subscribed to my author alert but you are on the alert list for this story, first of all, screw you! **

**Just kidding! I just want to tell y'all that the prequel to this is up, it's called **_Sasuke and Naruto's Epic Sexy Adventure_**. So check that out! Thanks to all of you who've stuck with me and this story since the start :) Here's a sneak peak just for you!**

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Sasuke Uchiha was frustrated.

There was very little he did not have in his life. If any need arose, there was no problem getting it – he was an Uchiha, after all. He had the perfect apartment, the perfect job, and the perfect boyfriend. There wasn't much more that he could possibly want. He wasn't frustrated with what he didn't have; rather, it was with what he already had.

Naruto Uzumaki. They had been together for just over a year, though they had known each other their entire lives. They were such foils to each other that they instantly clicked; it was true, Sasuke mused, that opposites really do attract. They fought constantly and it would seem to others that they hated each other; but if one was picked on, the other was instantly at their side.

It was during Naruto's last year of college that they finally got together. Sasuke had started at his father's company as soon as he himself was out of school and quickly rose through the ranks. He shared an apartment with the hyperactive blonde, much to his father's chagrin, and all was well with the world.

Until, that is, Sasuke returned from work to find Naruto and his dumber than shit friend Kiba together on the couch. The idiotic brunette was pressed up against the blonde, sucking lewdly at his neck and running a hand over his stomach. Naruto was bright red, his face screwed up in a mixture of uncertainty and pleasure. Sasuke saw red; _no one else_ should have been touching _his_ kitsune.

He kicked Kiba's ass and then promptly threw him from the apartment. He stormed up to a ranting Naruto and kissed him squarely on the lips. They had been together ever since.

So how was the blonde the source of Sasuke's frustration, you might wonder? It was simple; they had been together for more than a year, and they hadn't had sex yet.

It wasn't like Sasuke was unhappy with the relationship. Naruto always kept him on his toes, they always enjoyed each other (aside from the arguments that more often than not led to them making out), and they were happily stable. He loved his little blonde, and he wouldn't give him up for the world. But fuck – he was a man with needs!

At least one person seemed to benefit from Sasuke's frustration, though – Itachi, Sasuke's older brother. It was like the bastard knew about his frustration. And he probably did, considering that his lover, Deidara, and Naruto were nearly inseparable since meeting. But the point was, Itachi took great amusement out of it and took every opportunity to tease his little brother.

And today was just a perfect example of that.

Sasuke hadn't began the day well to begin with. He had woken up from a wonderful dream featuring his blonde with a raging hard on. Naruto was still passed out on his side of the bed. For a brief moment, Sasuke considered waking him up to see where it would lead. But that was something that he had tried before, and it hadn't gone well.

So, frustratedly, he went to the bathroom to take care of his not so little problem by himself. He was nearly finished when Naruto burst in, good-naturedly complaining about how long Sasuke always took in the bathroom. As soon as he saw what his boyfriend was doing, he clapped a hand over his eyes, burned bright red, and tried to run from the bathroom.

Key word: tried. With his hand over his eyes and unable to see anything, the blonde ran into the door frame instead of through the door. Sasuke, now frustrated for more than one reason, had had to take care of his slightly hysterical kitsune. He barely had time for a shower and was almost late to work. On top of that, Naruto refused to meet his eyes or stay in the same room with the raven for long.

By the time he'd made it to work, he only had five minutes to make it to Itachi's office for a meeting. Without even stopping at his own office, he went straight to his brother's... only to walk in to find the older raven and his blonde going at it against his desk.

It was barely eight AM and Sasuke was already more than ready to kill someone. His brother got it whenever he wanted and Sasuke's boyfriend got embarrassed if he caught Sasuke without a shirt. How was that fair?

Needless to say, the event didn't put Sasuke in too good of a mood for the day. Especially not when Itachi came strolling into his office thirty minutes later than planned for their meeting, still debauched and smelling of sex. The bastard just loved to rub it in.

He sat across from his younger brother, folded his hands neatly, and smirked when the little vein in Sasuke's head made an appearance.

"Otouto, is something the matter?" he asked in what would seem to be a polite way. "You seem rather tense. Isn't Naruto helping you unwind after all your long days at the office?"

"Shut up," Sasuke snarled back. He slammed a file on the desk and nearly threw it at his brother. "About the merger-"

"Yes, about that," Itachi said calmly. He slid the folder back. "Father and I have discussed it already."

"...Without me?"

"Yes, without you. Keep in mind, Sasuke, you may be an Uchiha, but you are still a junior partner. Not every decision requires your input or opinion. Yes, we've decided to send you to represent Uchiha Corp at the merger in Suna. You'll be leaving on Monday, and I've already had Hinata book you a flight."

Sasuke's eye twitched. Illegal or not, homicide seemed like the best way to proceed at this point. They had decided that _he_ would go to the merger? What's more, they had made the decision without him?

"This is absurd!" Sasuke snapped. "You're more experienced than I am! It should be you going on the merger! God only knows how hard those Sabaku bastards at Tanuki Corporation are! And Gaara's fucking creepy!"

Itachi raised one smooth eyebrow. "'Creepy' as he might be, Neji has informed me that Naruto and Gaara are actually quite close companions. They reconnected quite well after high school, so it would seem." He stood, brushing imaginary dirt from his expensive suit jacket. "Perhaps Naruto could call and put in a good word for you. I'm sure he'd only ask for some oral-"

_"Out!"_

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